Another Random Day
by randomqueenwilla
Summary: Linda and I are in Bleach and Naruto once more. We bug Hollows, get threatened by Itachi, call Gaara a sad panda, Kidnap people, are kidnaped, and get sucked into flash backs-oh the horror! Follows the plotline of both Bleach and Naruto. Hiatus, sadly
1. Chapter 1

Yay, the beginning of Another Random day that is a sequal to One Random Day but honestly this can be read without reading that one. This one is also much better, since it has a plot. Yes a Plot!

I own nothing. I definitely do not own Bleach, Naruto, Pokemon, Disney, or Mr. Peanut. If I did I would be rich and famous.

Also since Linda and I are still writing this story, it will not be updated every week. I will try for every other week but it is hard since Linda and I are apart from one another. Distance will not stop us! Anyway I should get to the point huh?

Warnings for the story: Randomness, Spoilers from the Manga and Anime of both Bleach and Naruto, cursing, gay jokes (we call Sasuke gay a lot, for no reason)

Warnings for this chapter: kidnapping, rocks shaped oddly like toads, Pokemon references, Itachi being Itachi (Stalker)

* * *

Another Random day, yes again.

Linda and I were discussing our previous random day. Then we wondered what everyone was doing, ignoring the fact that we knew since we watch the anime and/or read the Manga. Then we randomly poop-ed in to Bleach once again.

"Man we should have done this earlier." Linda remarked.

"Yeah especially since we only had to talk about it."

"I wonder when in the anime we are." Linda said.

"I hope it's after the Bount stuff." I hoped.

"Me too." Linda replied.

"Well there's one way to find out."

"Go see?"

"No, check the script."

"You have that still?"

"Maybe."

"Where did you get it last time."

"I dunno. It appeared like everything else."

"Script, Script…wait fifty dollars fifty dollars."

"Why do you need fifty dollars here?"

"I don't know, but I want it."

"Ok." I said as the script appeared.

"What's it say?"

"It says we're in the arrancar arc thingy, and that we should kidnap people to help us in Hueco Mundo."

"I call Hitsugaya."

"I'll just take someone who is near here."

"See you later then."

"Ok."

* * *

Linda's POV? (It is a question because I said so)

"Here Hitsu, hitsu, hitsu…I have Candy."

"Oh you're back." Hitsu said appearing in front of Linda.

"Yes…" Linda said wondering why he didn't learn from the first time they were there.

"What do you want?"

"A floating question mark."

"And how can I help you get that?"

"You can ask santa for me."

"Ask him yourself."

"You're the kid."

"You're the one that acts like one."

"You're short."

"…"

"YAY! I win I win."

"I hate you."

"Why was I here again?" Oh yeah to kidnapeted (spelled wrong on purpose said like kid-nap-pet-ted) you."

"Shouldn't you not tell me."

"You're right." Linda says shoving Hitsu into a bag, "You've been kidnapeted. MUHAHAHAHA, excellent."

* * *

Candice's POV…meanwhile (you thought u were done with this huh, well you're not)

"Who to kidnap, where am I." I say pulling out a map that looks just like the Disney maps but of Soul Society, it even includes a magical you are here sticker. "I'm near division 11, but I can't take Chi (Kenpachi's nickname incase you forgot) because he has to save Ichigo. So who…Baldy or vanity man…hmmm. I guess I'll go with whoever I see first."

"Candice?" Vanity man asked as he and Baldy rounded the corner.

"Dang it. Now what should I do. I guess I could take both."

"What are you talking about?"

"Shhh, I'm talking to my inner hollow."

"What?"

"Get in the bag." I say as to throw a bag over the two of them and close it. "Now this would have been a lot more comfortable for you both if only one of you were there. But no, you had to appear at the same time."

* * *

When the two meet once more with their cargo

"Ok, so now what?"

"Why's your bag so big?"

"Why's your bag so small?"

"I got Hitsu."

"I got Baldy and Vanity man."

"In the same bag?"

"I only had one."

"So I guess we go through a portal or something?"

"What else."

"Fly?"

"Can you fly?"

"No. But if we had a magic carpet?"

"But we don't."

"How about a genie?"

"This is not Disney."

"It's not?"

"Nope."

"Aww, I wanted to go on Splash Mountain."

"Well, I'm sure we can have fun messing with the hollows."

"Yay annoying people."

"Let us out."

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

* * *

Meanwhile in Naruto…we mean Konoha

Tsunade was telling team eight and team seven about their mission to find and retrieve Sasuke.

"We accept the mission." They answer.

* * *

Meanwhile…hehe…

"So we go through this portal, to get to that portal, to go through that other portal, to get to the place that is not here." Linda explained to a rock which looked oddly like a toad.

"Ummm, Linda? I wish I had a sweat drop right now."

"So should we go now, Mr. Toady?"

"Ummm, take the rock and let's go."

"Come MR. Toady." Linda says as she picks up the rock and steps through the portal.

"Are you sure this is the portal to Hueco Mundo? Because this boy here looks oddly like Naruto…and that boy there looks oddly like Naruto." I said as I went through the portal.

"No."

"Then what are we going to do."

"Go through another portal. Remember the plan?"

"No." I answered.

"I explained it to Mr. Toady why weren't you listening?"

"Whatever. Hey look another Naruto. Are you Naruto?"

"Yes."

"How about you?"

"I am also Naruto."

"How about you."

"I'm Sakura."

"Oh yeah the pink should have given it away."

"Why are you here?"

"Because this is apparently the only way to Hueco Mundo." I said.

"Where?"

"Never mind."

"We should probably go, it's almost tea time."

"Yeah, bye people." I say as Linda and I go through the portal."

Meanwhile somewhere not near where Naruto is

"Sasuke-kun." Karin says in her fan girl voice, "I wish we were alone."

"…" Sasuke ignored her but looked at the portal that was appearing in front of him.

"Hi man-whore!" Linda says happily.

"Hi, Sas-gay!" I say equally happy.

"You again."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Linda asked.

"It means you're here again." Sasuke says.

"You and your witty ways that's why they replaced you." Linda says.

"Anyways, didn't we tell you not to join the snake pervert?"

"I think maybe he did it out of spite, because we told him not to." Linda suggests.

"Probably."

"It shows that his names we gave him fit."

"Who are those girls?" Karin asks Sasuke in her annoying fan-girl voice.

"We do not question these things."

"Yeah Sasuke who are they." Suigetsu announces.

"Annoyances."

"So?" Linda remarks.

"Hi Juugo." I say.

"Hi." Juugo responds.

"By the way Sasuke are you trying to outdo Sai's belly shirt?" Linda asks.

"What's with the rope? Where'd you get it?" I ask.

"Go away."

"But I want to make fun of you more. Don't you like me anymore?" I ask.

"Plus we want to watch your fight, it's so cool." Linda says.

"With Itachi?"

"No with Karin. Yes with Itachi or Deidara, whichever comes first." I reply.

"I want to watch him fight Karin." Suigetsu said.

"I like him, he wants to see Sasuke fight Karin. Yay Mortal Combat." I say.

"Thanks."

"Where did you come from." Karin asked.

"Melbourne, Fl." Linda responds.

"Long Island, NY."

"Where?" Karin asks.

"A land far far away…" Linda answered.

"Who do you owe allegiance to?" Suigetsu asked intrigued.

"Myself." I answer.

"Me, myself and I and to Mr. Peanut because he's cool." Linda responds.

"Hey Sasuke look at this bag."

"Why?"

"Have a closer look." Linda says throwing the bag over his head. "We caught a Sasuke, we caught a Sasuke!"

"Give him back." Karin screeched.

"No."

"Juugo! Attack." Karin says.

"Pikachu I choose you!" Linda shouts throwing Mr. Toady at her knocking her out. "Good job Pikachu." then Linda puts her face near Mr. Toady and says "Pika,Pika"

"Anyway, Juugo look at this bag."

"I'm not falling for that." Suigetsu said even though we were talking to Juugo.

"Fine we'll do this the hard way, you guys wanna come?"

"Sure." Suigetsu and Juugo answer.

"All that talking, so hard."

"One more thing, tie Karin to that tree with a note saying that Sasuke is through that portal." Linda says. "Onwards!"

* * *

Meanwhile at the ultra-secret Akastsuki base number two, again without a sign

"Oh look Itachi." Linda points to Itachi who is sitting there doing something…

"Shh, he'll hear."

"Of course he will your whispering really loud." Suigetsu notices.

"I already am aware of your presence." Itachi said looking at us.

"Who said that?" Linda asked.

"I don't know but shhh, he'll hear us." I say causing Itachi to have an anger symbol over his head.

"Didn't we just go through this?" Suigetsu said.

"Maybe." I said.

"What are you doing here, I hope it's not because of my foolish little brother again."

"Gosh Suigetsu look what you did, he heard you." Linda says.

"Quit ignoring me." Itachi states.

"No." I say.

"You just quit ignoring me."Itachi reiterates.

"Dang it." I say.

"Good going Candice." Linda says.

"Like he's going to bother you anyway." I answer.

"Your right, where's Zetsu I want pie and a money tree."

"Why are you here and what's in the bags?" Itachi asked once again.

"Just some cargo. You can check if you want to."

"Let us out." The bags say.

"Did you hear something?" I ask.

"Nope." Linda says.

"The bags just talked." Itachi noticed.

"They did?" I ask.

"Yes." Itachi answers.

"Well that seems like a problem." Linda notices.

"Could you check for us, start with the medium sized one." I suggest.

"I don't trust you." Itachi says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"What did we ever do to you?" Linda asks.

"Where's my hug?" Itachi states looking at Candice.

"Dang it. You remember that?"

"Of course. An Uchiha never forgets."

"Isn't that an elephant?" Linda remarks.

"Are you implying that I have large ears?" Itachi asks.

"Maybe." Linda says.

"I'll kill you."

"That's what you said last time but you never did." I say.

"Then what does an Uchiha do?" Linda asks.

"Claim to want to re-build their clan even though they don't know what that entails." I answer.

"I know what that entails."

"Really." I say.

"Yes."

"Pervert." I say.

"What a Perv." Linda remarks.

"So that means all Uchiha's are Perverts." I state.

"Dirty minds, dirty minds." We sing.

"You try my patience."

"We don't try we brake it." Linda says.

"Anyway, Linda why are we here again?"

"Do I have to explain the plan again?"

"No, I just forgot momentarily."

"Where are you going?" Itachi asks.

"Where you are not?" I say.

"Where am I not going?"

"To the place where we are going and you are not going." Linda answered.

"You really try my patience."

"We just went over this." I remind him while Suigetsu and Juugo watch this entire conversation sitting on a couch eating popcorn.

"Maybe we should get going. Because we ran out of popcorn." Suigetsu remarks.

"But we haven't kidnapeted anybody." Linda remarked.

"I call not Itachi." I say.

"What?" Itachi asks.

"I call Sasori!" Linda says.

"He's dead, right?" I say looking to Itachi for confirmation.

"Yes."

"I know your secret." I randomly whisper to Itachi.

"What secret?"

"The one I know." I answer.

"Which one is the one you know?"

"You have more than one." I ask.

"Is the other one that you're a perv?" Linda asks.

"Hn."

"Is that a yes Hn or a no Hn?" Linda asks.

"Hn."

"Not this again." I say.

"Weren't we going somewhere?" Sugetsu asks.

"Oh yeah." I say.

"But I haven't Kidnapeted someone yet." Linda whines.

"Who then?" I ask.

"Never mind, there's no one here I want."

"Well I call Panda." I say.

"How do you know we're going there next?" Linda asks.

"Process of elimination."

"Hmmm, who do I want…I call the fan."

"Deal."

"Wait how are we going to get the fan without Kenpachi?"

"Ask Juugo? Ask Suigetsu?"

"I could do that I suppose." Linda says.

"I'll get it if you let me go with you." Itachi says not realizing that we were going to leave the portal open anyway.

"Deal." Linda says quickly.

"Let's go already." Suigetsu says annoyed.

"Ok."

* * *

Meanwhile at Suna…the sand place…it has sand

"I feel like something is about to happen, and it will involve my fan…" Temari remarks.

"Women's intuition?" Kankuro asks.

"I guess."

"Panda!" I scream tackle-hugging Gaara once more.

"Fan!" Linda screams pointing at Temari because she doesn't know where the fan is. "I choose you Itachi!" Linda says attempting to throw Itachi.

"Unhand me."

"Did you miss me sad panda?" I ask Gaara ignoring Itachi and the rest.

"Don't ignore me." Itachi said to me again.

"Attention whore." Linda says, "Man-whore is related to Attention-whore…so are all Uchiha's are whores?"

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

"Don't you have any better threats?" I ask.

"Please do, we would get to where we're going faster if you did." Linda suggests.

"Hn."

"Why do all Uchiha's use the word Hn?" Linda asks.

"I don't know, lets ask the Idiots guide to Uchiha's." I say as I pull out a book from nowhere.

"What's it say?"

"Hn means Hn. Or anything they want it to mean. That's helpful."

"What an idiotic book it helps us with nothing."

"In it's defense it warns us that Uchiha's have very little patience. And are Perverts."

"It says that?" Linda asks.

"Well I wrote in the last part."

"I'll go get the fan so we can leave." Itachi states.

"Yay fan." Linda says.

"Gaara are you going to come with us?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I have duties."

"I guess I'll have to do this the hard way."

"The hard way?"

"Get in the bag."

"Wait I thought the hard way was asking them to come?" Suigetsu asked.

"It was. For Panda we have to get him in the bag because he has duties, did you have duties?" I answer.

"No."

"See."

"I got the fan and the girl is knocked out, lets leave the demon and go." Itachi says.

"Bad Itachi don't call Gaara names unless you are calling him Panda, that's ok."

"Itachi's jealous." Linda sings.

"Let's just go already."

"Do you even know where we are going?" I ask.

"I don't care."

"We'll tell you anyways, we're going to Hell." Linda states.

"Also known as Hueco Mundo."

"Why?"

"Because we can." I say.

"Lets go then."

"First I need to get Panda then we can go."

"I'm coming, no need for the bag." Gaara states.

"Aw."

"Why? Sasuke likes the bag?"

"No I don't." The medium sized bag said.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Sasuke is here?" Itachi asked.

"Nope."

"I can feel his Chakra though."

"Then why didn't you notice before now?" I ask.

"Burn." Linda says.

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Fire hazard." Linda says pointing to Itachi then says, "Stop drop and roll."

"You're annoying," says the medium sized bag.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Well I'm happy, I have Panda, so let's go, Itachi Carry this." I say handing him the large bag then we all walk into the portal.

* * *

So this is the end of the beginning of Another Random Day, I'll upload when I can, so put the story on alert so that you can know exactly when I do. Byes!

Next time on Another Random Day:

"_What do you mean Orihime, Captain Hitsugaya, Ikkaku, and Yuminicha are all kidnapped?" Yammato asked._

_"Yes." Shunsui Kyōraku said._

_"That doesn't answer my question."_

_"Yes."_

_"We should contact Ichigo and them."_

_"Shouldn't we look for them ourselves?"_

_"Too much work. I want to take a nap."_

_"Ok, well we are connected to human world." In Linda and my minds we heard a song saying 'Human World welcome to human world' while waving our arms dance like (back and forth)_

_"As you know Orihime has been kidnapped by Aizen." Yammato says into the web cam._

_"She has?" Ichigo asks._

_"You didn't notice?" Rukia asks._

_"Not really." Ichigo says._

_"So what are we going to do?" Rukia asks._

_"Lets get Ichigo to do it." Yammato says._


	2. Chapter 2

Amazing how much easier it is to update every other week.

Linda and I wanted to mention, to those of you who keep up with the Manga Naruto, what is up with Sasuke biteing Karen? I mean really, that came out of nowhere.

So the story continues.

* * *

Meanwhile at Hueco Mundo or Hell

"Aizen-sama we have intelligence reports from Soul society stating that the captain of the tenth division was kidnapped along with the third and fourth seats of the eleventh division." Gin reports.

"And I care why?" Aizen asks.

"They think we did it."

"And?"

"I don't like being blamed for something I didn't do."

"Didn't you get blamed for killing me?"

"I didn't like it. Don't they know they hurt my feelings?"

"You have feelings?"

"Sometimes."

"Aizen-sama, There are intruders." Tousen reports.

"I guess Ichigo and them are here."

"Ichigo is not one of them."

"What?"

* * *

Meanwhile

Skipping merrily into Hueco Mundo singing 'How Merrily We Live' just to piss of Itachi; Linda, Candice, and the rest entered.

"We are now in hell BWAHAHA!" Linda says.

"If you look to your left you will find desert, to the right desert, forward Los Noches."

"Huh?"

"Los Noches, where we are going."

"Mmmm, Nachos." Linda says.

"Cheesy Nachos." I say.

"Are we ever going to let the people out of the bags?" suigetsu asks.

"There are people in the bags?" I ask.

"Yes, they've been talking and you put them there." Suigetsu remarks.

"Oh, those bags." Linda says.

"So are you?"

"I guess, so we don't have to carry them anymore." Linda says.

"Finally." Sasuke says as he is let out of the bag. "You!" he says pointing to Itachi and running towards him with a Kunai but he never got there because a small hollow that looked like a lizard tripped him.

"Aw it's cute." I say picking it up.

"You have strange tastes." Linda notices.

"I guess." I say, "I will name you Bob." I say to the Lizard hollow thing.

"Now Sasuke no fighting Itachi because that would mess with the space time continuum thing." Linda says.

"Plus then we would have to clean up blood and Hollows would swarm and kill you all, but not me." I say.

"Why not you?"

"We do not question these things."

"What about me?" Linda asks.

"You live too."

"Take that you Hollows."

"Oh and I wouldn't let Panda die either."

"Thanks." Gaara said.

"So should we get going?" I ask.

"Aren't you forgetting the other bags?"

"Oh yeah, them."

"Hitsu there you are." Linda says opening the smallest bag.

"Hi Baldy and Vanity Man." I say letting the two of them out of their bags.

"We hate you." The three of them say in unison.

"Ok, I'm fine with that." I say.

* * *

Meanwhile back in Soul Society

"What do you mean Orihime, Captain Hitsugaya, Ikkaku, and Yuminicha are all kidnapped?" Yammato asked.

"Yes." Shunsui Kyōraku said.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Yes."

"We should contact Ichigo and them."

"Shouldn't we look for them ourselves?"

"Too much work. I want to take a nap."

"Ok, well we are connected to human world." In Linda and my minds we heard a song saying 'Human World welcome to human world' while waving our arms dance like (back and forth)

"As you know Orihime has been kidnapped by Aizen." Yammato says into the web cam.

"She has?" Ichigo asks.

"You didn't notice?" Rukia asks.

"Not really." Ichigo says.

"So what are we going to do?" Rukia asks.

"Lets get Ichigo to do it." Yammato says.

"I'm right here and I am talking to you."

"I'm sorry I only notice Captains."

"Rukia's here you noticed her."

"She is?"

"Yes I am, so is Renji."

"Is he now."

"Yes, I am."

"What kind of general are you?" Ichigo asks.

"The only one."

"So…"

"So what?"

"What are we going to do?"Ichigo asks.

"Well I am going to forbid all of you from going to Hueco Mundo because then you will definitely go." Yammato explained. "And to make sure that you go, I am sending Bya and Kenpachi to get rukia and Renji so that they don't go, but it's really so that bya can give Rukia and Renji cool desert clothes."

"I want cool desert clothes." Ichigo whines.

"Get your own." Rukia says.

"I get clothes from Bya and you don't." Renji says.

"Maybe I don't want his clothes." Ichigo pouted.

"Um guys do you remember we are supposed to be shocked and appalled by Yammato's decision?" Rukia reminded them.

"Why do you think that?" Renji asked.

"It said so in the script. See." Rukia said pointing to some notebook paper.

"How'd you get that?"

"I dunno."

* * *

Meanwhile back in hueco Mundo

"Where's the script?" I ask.

"Who stole the script from the cookie jar?" Linda sings.

"There are cookies?" I ask.

"I wish." Linda says.

"Well let's get walking."

"Are we there yet?" Linda asks right after we left.

"We just started." Hitsugaya said.

* * *

After five minutes

"How long is this desert?" Linda asks.

"Longer than five minutes?" I say.

"Oh, what kind of Disney land is this?" Linda responds.

"It's not." I say.

"You tricked me."

"When?"

"…"

"I win."

* * *

Another five minutes

"Water I need Water." Linda complains.

"It's only been ten minutes." Hitsugaya said annoyed.

"But it feels like forever, I think I see a hot spring over there."

"There's nothing there." I remark.

"Yes there is." Linda says.

"Would you be quiet." Hitsu says.

"If you come over here and let me pinch your cheeks I will." Linda says.

"Fine." He concedes.

"Linda wins." I announce.

* * *

Another five minutes

"Hey Gaara why don't we just use your sand to get there?" I ask randomly.

"You never asked, so I was conserving Chakara for a fight that might happen."

"I think that's the longest sentence to ever come out of your mouth." I observed.

"Weak." Itachi decided to interrupt.

"What?" Gaara asked.

"You're so weak that you have to conserve your energy."

* * *

With Candice and Linda

"I thought he was saying weak because Gaara said an entire sentence." Linda whispered to Candice.

"Me too."

* * *

Back to Gaara and Itachi

"Then why didn't you teleport us to Los Noches?" Gaara asked Itachi.

"…"

"Gaara wins." I say.

* * *

Tiebreaker

"Ok Rock Paper Scissors shoot." I say.

"Gaara lost." KO

"Linda and Candice tie."

* * *

Sudden Death

"Ok Rock Paper Scissors shoot."

"Candice looses." KO

Linda had paper, and decided to make a speech and sing a song about winning.

Back to the story

"Well why don't we teleport people?" I ask

"Good idea." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Have a better one?"

"No."

"Then Shh." I say.

"Shall we?" Linda says.

"Who can teleport again?"

"Gaara, Sasuke, and Itachi."

"Linda and Hitsu, take Man-whore, Baldy, Vanity man and Suigetsu take Itachi, Gaara, Juugo and I will go." I announce.

"Why are you going with Gaara?" Itachi asks.

"Because I like him more than you. He's my sad panda." I say hugging Gaara.

"I hate you." Itachi says to Gaara.

"The feeling is mutual." Gaara replied.

* * *

Meanwhile In Los Noches (Cheesy…)

"In Los Noches it's a happy place." Gin is randomly singing.

"Why are you singing?" Aizen asked.

"I thought it might help you think. I also have a dance number if you'd like to see it."

"I'll pass. So who were the intruders?"

"You don't want to hear the rest of my song?"

"No."

"Fine, I'll just sing it to Candice when she gets here."

"Candice?"

"And Linda, they're the intruders."

"Really."

"Yes."

"That changes things," Aizen said smiling creepily, "We shall have to prepare them rooms and make some tea."

From far away they hear a voice say "TEA?"

"I think I'm hearing things, Gin."

"No I heard it too."

"Weird."

* * *

At the entrance to Los Noches

"Linda why did you just shout TEA out loud?"

"Someone said tea."

"How can you hear it from all the way over here."

"The world shall never know." Linda said as the doors opened and Grimmjow exited.

" Are you people Candice and Linda."

"Well I'm Candice and that's Linda and these are our people, is that what you meant?" I ask.

"Yeah sure, Aizen is expecting you. I'm supposed to take you up to the meeting hall for tea."

"Tea?" Linda asks.

"Yes Tea…"

"Were you ordered by Aizen not to be rude or hurt us?" I ask.

"Why do you think this?"

"You're eye brow's twitching."

"Yeah I was told to treat you better than I treat him."

"Excellent." I say as I go poke him in his Hollow Hole.

"Don't do that, Bitch."

"Ooooh you're in trouble, I'm gonna tell Aizen." Linda taunted. "Then you're gonna lose your other arm again, and then I'm not gonna let Orihime help you so I can call you one armed man."

"I'll kill you!"

"I get threatened with that all the time, have you met Itachi." Linda said pulling Itachi away from me and towards Grimmjow.

"Hn."

"You have to forgive him, he only knows one word." Linda said.

"Hn."

"See."

"You know Hn is not even a word."

"But the Uchiha handbook says…"

"It lies. Propaganda!" I say.

"Come already." Grimmjow said as Gaara began to walk inside which caused me to walk in which caused Itachi to follow. Then Sasuke had to follow Itachi and Hitsu didn't want to be left with Linda so he went inside also. Baldy and Vanity Man Followed the Captain because he out ranked them and Suigetsu and Juugo followed Sasuke. This left Linda and Grimmjow to run after everybody.

"Traitors!" Linda shouted. "weasel traitor, vanity man and baldy traitors, Snake team traitors, shorty traitor-"

"What! I am not short." Hitsu said stopping.

"Then how did you know I was referring to you." Linda said.

"Burn." I say, "Linda wins."

"You people are crazy." Grimmjow said.

"Why thank you." I say.

"You're one to talk, Mr. I don't button my shirt." Linda remarks.

"Neither does he." Grimmjow said pointing to Sasuke.

"And that's why he is Man-whore, well that and other reasons that we shall not talk about." Linda says.

"So where are we going, because Gaara is still leading the way and he has no clue." I say. "Poor sad Panda is confused." I say as I hug him to make him stop walking.

"Follow me." Grimmjow said quickly walking to the front.

"We're following the leader the leader the leader." Linda and I sing.

"Be quiet." Itachi and Grimmjow said at the same time then glared at one another.

"You're no fun Itachi that's why I won't hug you." I state.

"I won't either." Linda states.

"I didn't want you to."

"Ok then we're on the same page."

"I have this urge to kill things." Baldy said to Vanity man.

"I want to look in a mirror." Vanity man says.

"Watch out you might break it." Linda says popping out of nowhere.

"Is it just me or did you guys switch roles?" Hitsu asked.

"I was that mean?" I ask.

"Well she was quieter before." Hitsu said avoiding mentioning the cheek pinching.

"Well she wasn't being stalked for hugs." I say in my defense.

"Are we there yet?" Linda repeatedly asked Grimmjow while poking him in the arm.

"No, but I'll kill y-you." He said so mad he was stuttering.

"Will I get there faster if you kill me?" Linda asks.

"There will be no killing." A voice said from around the corner.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Aw, you are ignoring me, not nice." Gin said coming around the corner.

"Hey Foxy." I say waving for no apparent reason.

"I will take them from here, consider yourself relieved from duty." Gin said smiling as he took my arm and led me around the corner, causing Gaara and Itachi to follow. Then Sasuke and team Snake, Hitsu and Linda, with Baldy and Vanity man keeping a watchful eye behind them.

"Good." Grimmjow said, "See ya, Candice."

"Why is it always me." I ask.

"Because you appeal to creepy, crazy and corrupt guys, the three C's. And I appeal to no-one hahahahaha."

"Is that a good thing?" I ask.

"In this case yes." Linda replied.

"Welcome." Aizen said as we entered, we being Gin and I.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Behind us, but you're blocking our way in." I say then Aizen moves to the side.

"Oh, well I was just so glad you could join us."

"Ok traitor."

"What?"

"Creepy." Linda said as she walked in.

"I agree." I say.

"Now now, lets sit down and have some tea."

"Tea!" Linda said.

"I don't like tea." I say.

"What! Remove the tea then."

"Touch the tea and you die." Linda says in the creepiest evil voice she has ever used scaring others, who the others are specifically, we don't know.

"Letting your inner hollow out are we Linda?" I ask causing everyone who knows about hollows to stare at us.

"I wanted the tea."

"Ok you may keep the tea."

"That's what I thought."

"What would you like Candice, my dear." Aizen asked creepily.

"A root beer float and you to never call me dear or yours again." I say.

"The first is doable the others not so much."

"Dang it." I pout then sit in the largest chair I can find (Aizen's of course).

Then Linda sat down and pulled out a small chair from her bag and said "Here you go Hitsugaya." this caused Hitsu to sit as far away from her as he could. Which in turn caused Linda to follow. Bringing the little chair with her.

Everyone else sat down peacefully, if you ignore the glares Aizen and Gin gave to Itachi and Gaara for getting the seats next to me.

"Where's my root beer?" I ask.

"One of my arrancar will get it for you." Aizen replied shouting across the table. This caused Linda and I to get bells from inside our random bags.

"Ding. Ding, is the food here yet?"

"Food?" Aizen asked.

"You aren't going to feed us?" I whine.

"Yes I will, I was ummm, just asking what you wanted to eat." Aizen replied quickly.

"Ding, I want pizza." I say.

"Ding I want pasta." Linda said.

"Ding I want cheese doodles."

"Ding I want tacos."

"Ding I want cake."

"Ding I want cheese cake."

"Ding I want Doritos."

" Ding I want you to be quiet." Hitsu said ringing Linda's bell.

"Fine," Linda pouts.

"So what's for dinner?" I ask again.

"We're going to see what's in the kitchen."

"We?"

"I mean one of my arrancar will look."

"I thought you would have been prepared what a bad host, I am appalled, appalled I say." Linda said. "You call yourself a Candice Stalker. You should know that the first rule is always give her food."

"Really, I'll take note of that for next time." Aizen said.

"Hello, I'm right here." I said waving from my-Aizen's chair.

"Food is ready." An unimportant Arrancar said.

"That was quick." I stated, happily because I had my root beer and many other things.

"It helps that they would die if it wasn't quick." Gin said.

"I suppose." I say, not really listening.

* * *

Just think about what Gin's interpretive dance would look like. Plus it is very amusing having him sing in the first place.

Preview from the next chapter:

_"Well I will not sleep on the floor."_

_"then where are you sleeping the bath tub?" I ask._

_"No in the bed."_

_"With Gaara?"_

_"And you."_

_"So you want to sleep with Gaara? I knew you were gay, poor sad panda will be a victim of a gay pervert. All you Uchiha's think alike."_


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next installment, Yay reviewer that is not Linda, although Linda's reviews are appreciated but I don't think they count since she is one of the authors.

* * *

After Dinner, in the rooms…Linda's room

"We should feed them all the time," Hitsu whispered to Sasuke, "they seem to be quiet while they eat."

"True but where would we get the food?" Sasuke asked.

"Aren't you a ninja?" Linda asked somehow hearing them.

"Yes."

"Aren't you supposed to hunt for food?"

"Yes."

"then how did you survive?"

"Tomatoes."

"You can't live off of tomatoes alone." Linda said.

"Yes you can."

"No you can't."

"I've done it."

"well you're not human, hello you turn into a blue demon thing. Why are you blue anyways?"

"Hn."

"Not a word."

"Hn."

"Gay guy's say hn." Linda said really fast.

"Hn."

"I knew it. So it is true. That's why you never liked Sakura, that and the annoying-ness."

"what?"

"maybe someone should pay attention, plus now I have a confession from you now I can tell Candice."

"tell her what?"

"What you just told me."

"what did I just tell you."

"you're the one who said it."

"What did I say?"

"Hn."

"huh?"

"no Hn."

"Just give up you can't win." Hitsu said.

"YAY I won!" Linda said.

"Dang it."

"That's Candice's phrase."

"We'll I'm borrowing it."

"Then I will use Hn."

"Fine."

"Hn."

* * *

Meanwhile with Orihime

"Ikkaku, Yumichika what are you doing here?" Orihime asked.

"well we were kidnaped." Ikkaku said.

"you too!"

"But not by Aizen, but Candice." ikkaku said, or baldy.

"What?"

"Don't ask it involved a very ugly bag." Yumichika aka Vanity man said.

"ok."

* * *

Meanwhile in Candice's room

There's a big sign that says Panda sleeps here pointing to the bed and another that says Candice sleeps here right next to it. Then there is a sign that say's Juugo's couch, and itachi's floor.

"When did he have time to do this?" I ask pointing to the signs.

"Why does the Panda get to sleep with you." Itachi asks.

"Well good night juugo."

"You're ignoring me again."

"Well itachi if I had to tell you a reason you are supposed to sleep on the floor it would be that you are considered more of a threat then Panda." I say, "Don't know why."

"Well I will not sleep on the floor."

"then where are you sleeping the bath tub?" I ask.

"No in the bed."

"With Gaara?"

"And you."

"So you want to sleep with Gaara? I knew you were gay, poor sad panda will be a victim of a gay pervert. All you Uchiha's think alike."

Itachi then walked towards me and threw me onto the bed next to Gaara…while there is a voice saying Rape…that sounded oddly like Linda. Then he got into bed also.

"Wow there is room for three." I notice as he gets in. "If I hug Gaara maybe I won't have to sleep near Itachi." I accidentally said out loud.

"I don't think so." Itachi said as he put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Panda!" I say reaching towards Gaara, who unfortunately was already asleep.

Then a voice said "If you use the rape whistle they will come."

"That sounded oddly like Linda."

"Just use the whistle."

"Why?"

"Because you're being raped?"

"How do you know?"

"It says so in the script."

"Shouldn't you be sleeping."

"Should you be asking that right now?"

"Yes?"

"No, you should be blowing the whistle."

"Itachi stole it."

"Then just whistle."

"I can't."

"Then use mine." The Linda voice said as a whistle appeared in my hand.

"how is this possible, never mind." I said before blowing the whistle and realizing it was broken. "It's broken."

"Who broke my whistle?"

"It was annoying." Hitsu said.

"So what am I going to do?"

"Use this." then Sasuke randomly appeared and challenged Itachi to a fight.

"go away foolish little brother, I'm trying to sleep." then he boinked him on the head and Sasuke passed out phasing back into Linda's room.

"You know what this is too much trouble, I'm going to sleep. Night linda." I say.

"What'd you say."

"Itachi wins." Itachi said.

"Dang it." the Linda voice said since Candice is already asleep.

* * *

That night while Linda was asleep…sleeping…

"Oh, look Shikamaru, it's a cloud." Linda said in her dream of sitting with Shika and watching the sky.

"Look Linda it's a Gingo!" Shika remarks.

"Look it's a Dingo, wait a Gingo?"

"What it's your dream I don't know."

"Then why are you talking back to me?"

"I don't know it's you're dream."

"Oh wait it's really Gin and a Dingo flying through the sky."

"Why are they flying?"

"How are they flying?"

Then Linda was rudely woken up by a kick from Hitsu

"Wha?" Linda mumbled then kicked Hitsu back. Then Hitsu tried to kick Linda but missed and got Sasuke. then sasuke uses his phasing powers (while still asleep) and kicks suigetsu (who is on the couch asleep) then Suigetsu gets pissed and goes to bother Baldy and Vanity man (why? We don't know)…who then go to complain to me since it's my fault they are there. But they can't wake me…so everyone gathers in my room. While I am hugging Panda in my sleep and Itachi refuses to let go of me. Linda then takes pictures and I wake up because of the flash. An alarm then sounds.

"Intruders!" A voice shouts.

"Why is my alarm going off?" I ask, "Wait I don't have an alarm here."

"Why is the alarm going off."

"Intruders!" A voice shouts again.

"OOh wait, we forgot Shika."

"Why did you randomly remember that now?"

"I had a dream about him."

"Well I need a shower, so I need you all to leave my room."

"You have a bathroom in you're room?"

"You don't?"

"It's the room marked bathroom." Hitsu said.

"So…leave?"

"Bye"

* * *

After Candice's shower…in the bathroom

"What to wear, oh maybe the uniform that was left for me. Where's the cape jacket, I forgot to ask for it. Dang it."

"Hey Candice, why did we have to leave the room before?" Linda asked coming into my room.

"I just wanted everyone out."I said calmly. "Do you notice something missing from my outfit?"

"No cape Jacket!"

"I know. We forgot to ask for it."

"Then we have to fix this…I want a cape jacket."

"To Aizen then, to get our cape jackets."

"Should we follow the yellow brick road?"

"Do they even have yellow brick?"

* * *

In Aizen's Meeting hall

"So this time the intruders are Ichigo and them." Aizen said as Linda and I walk into the room.

"Hey, Aizen we want cape jackets." I say.

" I don't have time for this right now." Aizen said.

"I. Want. A. Cape. Jacket!" Linda says all hollowfied.

"You have an inner hollow?"

"You didn't notice before? Let me remind you, TEA!" I say.

"TEA!"

"Oh yeah that. Do you have a inner hollow also?"

"Yeah, duh. If she has one why wouldn't I have one."

"Ok, so how do I get her not to kill me?" Aizen asks noticing that Linda has a Zanpakuto and she is starting to draw it.

"give her what she wants."

"Ok, so she wants…"

"A cape jacket, one for me too."

"I will give you a cape jacket if you go to our intruder meeting." Aizen said.

"Ok." Linda said completely normal again.

"But we never promised to pay attention." I whispered to Linda.

"Then what's the point of going?"

"What's the point of anyone going?"

"You know what, I don't know."

* * *

Meanwhile with the people I kicked out of my room before…

"What are we doing here?" Baldy asked.

"well, I think we are lost." Suigetsu remarked.

"Maybe we shouldn't have left the room and just gone walking, around with no direction." Vanity man noticed while looking into his pocket mirror.

"Hey, you! We have intruders." a random unimportant arrancar said.

"We heard." Sasuke said.

"well we're going to have an intruder meeting, but there is a better meeting for the Espada…Aizen isn't even going to be at our meeting."

"Do you think the girls went to the meeting?" Itachi asked.

"Which one?" Suigetsu asked.

"the one we can get into." a random voice answers…

* * *

At the meeting…the cooler Espada one…

"Here's you're capes."

"YAY!"

"So why are we here?" I ask.

"for a meeting."

"duh."

"But why?"

"He wants to stare creepily at you." Linda whispered to me.

"Dang it."

"First we will begin this meeting with TEA."

"TEA!" Linda shouted.

"I don't like tea." I say.

"and a root beer float for her." Aizen said. "Let's sit down." (see seating chart)

"Begin the meeting already." Grimmjow said impatiently.

"So we have intruders…"

* * *

Five minutes later…

"So who would you date, Linda, Ichigo, Chad, or Ishida?"

"Ishida, because he's cool and his voice sounds like Sasuke's."

"True."

"How about you?"

"I dunno, but if you have Ishida then maybe Chad. Because he's nice and tall."

"I don't have that problem I'm short."

"I'm tall." Grimmjow said interrupting our conversation.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Hey what if there was a cross between Ichigo and Ishida?"

"Ishigo?"

"Yes."

"Then that would be weird."

"So true."

"Do you think he would be bipolar?"

"probably."

"So who in the Espada do you like?" Linda asked and the entire meeting became silent as the hollows listened to us.

"Well…"I start to say then look around, "Let's continue this later when they are not staring at me."

"ok."

"Hey Aizen, are you done? We want to leave so we can get back to an important conversation."

"And this meeting is not important?"

"Do you even know the point?"

"Fine you both may go, everyone else must stay."

"Yay." Linda and I say skipping out of the room and heading back to my room.

* * *

Meanwhile at the not as cool intruder meeting

"they are not here." Itachi said after scanning the room.

"Can we go into the Espada meeting?" Juugo asked.

"No, no one but the Espada, Aizen-sama, Gin-sama, and Tousen-Sama are allowed into that meeting, oh and those two girls with inner hollows." an arrancar answered.

"Then there is no need for us to remain here." Itachi said.

"But there are intruders." an arrancar said.

"What do I care?" Itachi asked.

"…"

"I will take my leave, then." Itachi said as he walked out of the room to try to find whether the other meeting or the rooms they came from; everyone else that came with us followed him because they didn't want to sit in a boring meeting.

* * *

Hey Linda Grim-toe-aa-nn!

Preview for next chapter:

_"So there are intruders, and we should ignore them?" Grimmjow said._

_"Yes." Aizen said._

_"Are we done?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What was the point of this meeting?"_

_"it has no more point."_

_"What was the point then."_

_"The point that this meeting was about."_

_"Which is?"_

_"I wanted tea."_


	4. Chapter 4

Who else thinks that there is something seriously wrong with Sasuke's logic in the Manga?

I own nothing, especially not Naruto, bleach, tomatoes, or clouds

Warning for this chapter: (you probably thought I forgot about this…well I did) distractedness, notes, and oddly slow moving Naruto

* * *

At my room (Linda and I)

"So, Candice who do you like of the Espada?"

"Probably U-man and Grimmjow."

"Why them?"

"Well U-man has pretty eyes, and Grimmjow has pretty blue hair and he let me poke him. What about you?"

"I don't like any."

"Oh."

"When are we getting Shika?"

"Umm the question is when are you getting Shika, because I don't see Aizen letting me leave any time soon."

"When am I getting Shika?" Linda asks as Itachi and the rest of them wonder in.

"Now-ish?"

"Where's the portal?"

"In your bag?"

"Oh."

"Let's send Tsunade a warning letter about her death."

"Somebody dies?"

"Well that's a given."

* * *

The Letter…

Dear Tsunade

You will most likely die soon (seven days…) according to a pattern we have discovered. Jiraya will die soon and Orochimaru is already dead so you are next. Dun dun dun. If you want to live kill Sakura so she can't replace you as Sanin.

Linda and Candice

PS. I have come to kidnapeted Shikamaru.

* * *

With Ichigo, Ishida, and Chad…

"Oh look Rukia!"

"I'm here too." Renji said.

"You are unimportant." Ichigo said.

"Who's that?"

"Oh that's Nel, and her brothers."

"Oh ok."

* * *

Back to more interesting people? Aka the Espada

"So there are intruders, and we should ignore them?" Grimmjow said.

"Yes." Aizen said.

"Are we done?"

"Yes."

"What was the point of this meeting?"

"It has no more point."

"What was the point then."

"The point that this meeting was about."

"Which is?"

"I wanted tea."

"TEA?" Linda's voice said.

"How does she hear us?"

"In the words of Candice We do not question these things." Gin replied.

* * *

Back In the room

"So you are going to leave me here, maybe we should inform Aizen before you leave." I suggest.

"Bye-bye." Linda says as she enters a portal.

"LINDA!"

"ADRIAN." Linda's voice said.

"TOMATOES!" Sasuke said.

"I still don't like tomatoes." I say.

"And I still hate you."

"Well as long as that's cleared up."

* * *

In Konoha

Tsunade has just woken up after passing out drunk at her desk from Sake and noticed a letter…

"Who would want to kidnap Shikamaru?"

Watching the Clouds

"Troublesome."

"You're troublesome." Linda said as she exited the portal.

"Why are you here?" He asked not getting up.

"Why is anyone here?"

"Hmmm, troublesome."

"And you're supposed to be a genius."

"That's what they say."

"I am here to kidnapeted you."

"It's kidnap."

"Oh, so you're not too lazy to correct my grammar?"

"Troublesome."

"Yeah, yeah, troublesome, troublesome. There's a bed in the bag."

"I'm not falling for that."

"I guess I have to so this the hard way."

"Which is?"

"Look a cloud." Linda says pointing towards a cloud and then putting the bag over his head capturing him.

"Troublesome." The bag said.

* * *

Back in the room with Candice and them

"Where the heck is Linda it's been forever and there's a creepy person staring at me." I say as I point at Itachi.

"By forever do you mean five minutes." Hitsu asked.

"You've been oddly talkative recently."

"Shut up."

"That's the Hitsu I know."

"I mean Linda shouldn't take that long, it's Shikamaru the laziest person ever…hmm maybe he and Stark should become friends. That would be the most boring conversation ever…"

"What are we doing here anyway?" Baldy asked.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Why did you bring us all here, to Hueco Mundo?"

"Because I can."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No."

"Then…"

"I don't feel like telling."

"Why not."

"Because it's more fun this way."

* * *

Ten minutes later

"Hello." Linda said as she walked into the room with a bag that was snoring.

"Hi, I hear that you got Shika."

"It was unexpectedly harder than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the going up to him and the putting the bag over him…"

"Ok."

"I know I am so tired."

"Well are you going to let him out?"

"He seems pretty comfy."

"Ok, well I'm bored."

"What is there to do in Hell?"

"Annoy the Espada."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

With Orihime

"You're friends are here, the idiots." U-man said to her then she slapped him.

"Don't make fun of my friends." Orihime said.

"Eat your food, or I'll have to shove it down you're throat." U-man said then left at the same time that we left our room.

"Look it's U-man, let's annoy him." I say.

"Let's call him trash."

"Yes, let's." I say then we run after him and cause him to stop in his tracks.

"Trash!" Linda said pointing at him.

"Trashy trash." I say.

"Trash Trashy trashy trash trash trash."

"Trash."

"I am not trash,"

"Well you called us trash." Linda said, "then we call you trash."

"When have I called you trash?"

"Ummm, We assumed you did?"

"Well I didn't."

"Oh well trash." Linda says.

"Terribly sorry to bother you then." I say as we leave U-man to find more interesting targets.

Meanwhile in Naruto

"Look a note!" Naruto exclaims.

"Why is Karin tied up?" Sakura noticed.

"She is?" Naruto asked just now noticing that the note was attached to Karin, "Oh well."

"Well she is an enemy," Kakashi starts, "I say let's leave her and go." then notices that everyone has already gone through the portal.

* * *

Meanwhile With Ichigo and company

"Why am I company?" Renji asked no one for no apparent reason.

"It's in the script." Rukia said holding my stolen script.

"Why can't it be Renji and company?"

"Because we don't like you…" A voice said from nowhere.

"Who?" Renji asked.

"I am Gai…I mean um God…youthfulness."

"What?"

"The power of youth compels you."

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Shut up and give us the sunset background." A voice sounding oddly like Linda's and mine said.

"Anyway, which way should we go?" Ichigo asks.

"I think splitting up is the most logical brilliant plan ever! There is no other way possible for us to go. We definitely can't go as a group and thus attack people as a group. We also must worry about one another's safety the entire time we are there. We should definitely leave our new hollow friends here so that they can go the wrong way and split up themselves." Rukia answered.

"That's oddly specific." Ishida commented.

"Sounds good, let's go." Ichigo said.

"Aren't you going to disagree because you want to make sure that I am safe?" Rukia asked.

"Nope." Ichigo responded simply.

"Don't you know I might die?" Rukia asked.

"No one dies in Bleach unless they are already dead."

"I am already dead."

"Then what's you're problem."

* * *

All of the sudden a random portal appeared in front of them. Then Candice and Linda stepped out of it.

"Hi." I said.

"Hidey-ho." Linda said waving her hand.

"Oh look!" I say pointing to Ishida.

"It's Ishigo!" Linda says also pointing to Ishida. Ichigo had magical floating dot-dot-dots in front of him.

"Huh?" Ichigo said, "I don't get it."

"You both know that's not my name." Ishida stated.

"Do we?" I ask.

"Yes."

"How would you know?" Linda asks.

"Because we've met and you knew me then." Ishida told us.

"It's been a while, we can't be expected to remember such unimportant details." I commented.

"How's it unimportant this is my pride we're talking about." Ishida said.

"Again with the Uchiha pride, oops thought you were Sasuke." Linda remarked.

"We'll we should get going now, byes." I say as Linda and I enter the portal and close it behind us.

"Wait didn't they have a portal?" Chad remarked.

"Weren't they wearing arrancar uniforms?" Rukia noticed.

"They left us here on purpose." Renji remarked.

* * *

Back with us

"Shouldn't we have left the portal for them to use?" I remark.

"Nah let them find their own way." Linda answers.

"True then there wouldn't be cool fights."

"You mean the long ones."

"Yup."

"How are we going to watch them?" Linda asks.

"The room with the screens and Tousen." I explain.

"You mean that random room?" Linda asks.

"Is that Naruto?" I ask looking out a conveniently placed window that is next to me.

"I think it is." Linda remarked looking out her own window.

"Where is Sasuke?" a loud voice said from outside.

"Yup definitely Naruto." Linda commented.

"Maybe we should tell Aizen not to kill them." I wonder.

"We should since it would be the end of Naruto and I don't even know what happens to those other people."

"Like what Karin and Juugo are doing during Sasuke's and Itachi's fight."

"Will they ever find out what happened to Jiraya?"

"Will we ever know what happened to that one toad?"

"Will Naruto ever find Sasuke?"

"Will Sasuke ever admit he's gay?"

"I'm not gay!" Sasuke interrupted.

"Where'd you come from?"

"The room."

"Ok."

"Will we ever find out Sakura's background?"

"Will Naruto ever figure out the fourth Hokage is his father?"

"Will other people ever notice that the fourth and Naruto look the same?"

"Will anyone ever notice those portals?"

"Will we ever find out what happened to Naruto's mother?"

"When will the Bleach authors ever finish with the stupid flashbacks?"

"Will Ishida ever notice that he sounds just like Sasuke?"

"Weren't we going to do something about people not dying?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. I was on a role. It was all the questions we wanted answered."

"Lots of questions. Are you coming with us Sasuke?"

"To tell Aizen not to kill Naruto?" Sasuke asks.

"How do you know that?" Linda asks.

"Were you spying on us?" I ask.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"So that's a yes."

"He said more than one word!"

"And it wasn't Hn!"

"Shut-up."

"We should probably go and tell them before he does get killed and then no more Naruto."

"And then no more fighting for Sasuke." I mock.

"That means we save Itachi." Linda remarked.

"Poor Itachi." I said.

"Bad Sasuke, you have to sleep in between me and Hitsu tonight." Linda scolded.

"Yes!" said a voice that sounded oddly like Hitsu.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"I think we need to go now, they're approaching the entrance already." Sasuke remarked looking out of _my_ window.

"Worried about your boyfriend?"

"Seriously the both of you need to stop getting distracted and go save the dobe."

"Aww he used his pet name for him."

"How cute."

"Let's just go." Sasuke said.

"He's not denying it anymore."

"Fine, I guess we should go rescue Naruto and them."

* * *

To those readers of the Manga, yes most of those questions have been answered. We wrote this a long time ago. It's a work in progress. Currently we are working on the newer chapters but it will be a while until we get to that point in this story. It's hard since Linda and I don't live in the same place anymore. Stupid college.

Preview from next chapter:

"_I have a feeling Itachi's coming." I say stopping randomly while we were walking to Aizen's throne room._

_"Why do you say that?" Linda asks._

_"The giant hand pointing down the hallway that says Itachi's coming." I stated._

_"What do you want to do?"_

_"Runaway!" I say as I'm already running towards the safety of Aizen's throne room. (It has a door.)_

_"I'm coming and I've got me a gay." Linda said pulling Sasuke along with her._

_"Not gay."_


	5. Chapter 5

I own 1 laptop but no wireless Internet and one desk top computer that has a virus, I don't own things that give me money like Naruto or Bleach it just doesn't work that way.

Warnings for this chapter: stupidity, calling people gay, popcorn, God, and Tousen!

* * *

Last time on Another Random Day:

_"Worried about your boyfriend?"_

_"Seriously the both of you need to stop getting distracted and go save the dobe."_

_"Aww he used his pet name for him."_

_"How cute."_

_"Let's just go." Sasuke said._

_"He's not denying it anymore."_

_"Fine, I guess we should go rescue Naruto and them."_

* * *

Meanwhile because I feel like it…back in the room

"Hitsu do you have a jack?" Baldy asks.

"Nope, Go Fish."

"Go Fish? I thought it was Goldfish." Linda's voice sounded.

"This game is troublesome."

"Why are we still in here?" Itachi asks.

"Do you have any two's, Vanity man?" Suigetsu asks.

"You are aware that's not my real name right?"

"You are aware that I hate being ignored." Itachi said glaring. Cough man whore cough!

"Do you want to switch the game, this seems juvenile." Juugo asks.

"Why…"

"What else are we going to play?" Suigetsu interrupted Itachi.

"Egyptian Ratscrew?"

"I thought it was called rattle snake?" Linda's voice asks again.

"Nope." Came Candice's voice.

"Aren't we going to go and tell him?" Sasuke's voice said.

"Aww he's worried about his boyfriend?"

"Not gay." Sasuke's voice said.

"I'm going to find Candice." Itachi announced to no one since they were still ignoring him.

* * *

Meanwhile with us

"I have a feeling Itachi's coming." I say stopping randomly while we were walking to Aizen's throne room.

"Why do you say that?" Linda asks.

"The giant hand pointing down the hallway that says Itachi's coming." I stated.

"What do you want to do?"

"Runaway!" I say as I'm already running towards the safety of Aizen's throne room. (It has a door.)

"I'm coming and I've got me a gay." Linda said pulling Sasuke along with her.

"Not gay."

* * *

Meanwhile with Panda

"I'm lost." Gaara said looking sad. (In our version he has a teddy bear)

"Sad panda?" A voice says.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope." A voice said.

"I could have sworn I heard something."

"It's the wind," a voice said.

"There is no wind here."

"Turn around stupid." Sasuke's voice said.

"Shut up gay."

"I'm not gay."

"Panda!" I say then jump on him.

"How convenient that you were in the hallway in front of Aizen's throne room." Linda remarked.

"A coincidence, a coincidence." I say.

"What's all the racket?" Aizen's voice came (oddly like an old man with a cane yelling at some noisy kids) from the throne room.

"Oh yeah Aizen."

"Don't kill the dope, I mean don't kill Naruto." Sasuke said.

"Oh look he's using his pet name again."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not…"

"Anyways don't kill Naruto." I say interrupting Sasuke.

"Why?"

"Because I said so." I say.

"Ok. Anything for you." Aizen says.

"Ugh." I remark and shiver.

"Ask him for a unicorn." Linda asks.

"I want a Unicorn."

"I don't have one."

"Liar. I am so disappointed. I guess I'll just have to take Gaara and go back to my room." I say as I walk towards the exit almost being run over by Itachi.

"There you are." Itachi said walking in.

"Darn you Aizen." I say using my angry fist, "Now Itachi has found me. All because you don't have a unicorn. I am so disappointed. Now me and Panda will go over here, away from Itachi and you."

"You know you don't have to tell him everything you do." Linda remarked.

"Well I thought I would let him know so they wouldn't follow me."

"They're going to anyway."

"I know. Don't ruin the happy."

"What are you talking about, Panda is sad that's why we call him sad panda. He will never be happy."

"True, but I was happy because I found Panda."

"I wasn't sad I was lost." Gaara said.

"See Sasuke why can't you be honest like him and just admit you're gay?" Linda asked.

"Not gay."

"I agree with them, Sasuke." Itachi remarked.

"What do you know, murderer."

"Poor Itachi! I'll let you sleep on the bed tonight."

"I was going to anyway."

"Wait, he gets to sleep in you're bed?" Aizen asked.

"Oops. Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Off to the room we go."

"Wait." Aizen called out stopping me from leaving.

"What?"

"Why don't I get to sleep in the bed."

"Two reasons 1) you have your own bed, 2) no room for you unless you want me to sleep on you're bed and have you sleep with Itachi and Panda in mine."

"Deal. Wait how does that work." Aizen answered too quickly then was confused.

"You already said deal."

"I get my own bed!" I sang.

"At least my sheets get to smell like Candice." Aizen muttered to himself.

"Deal canceled." I say. "That's just too creepy. Plus I wouldn't want to leave the sad panda."

"Don't leave me with them." Gaara said quietly to me.

"It's ok I won't leave you. Poor sad panda. Linda and Sasuke haven't said anything recently." I say then notice a note saying that Linda left. "Traitor, leaving me alone with three guys two of them creepy." Then I looked and noticed another note that said: 'Sasuke wanted to look for his boyfriend- I'm not Gay! Sure you're not.'

"So want to stay here for a bit?" Aizen asked creepily.

"Nope. I do however want to watch the battles on the screen thinggy." I respond.

"I was just going over there myself." Gin answered appearing out of nowhere behind me.

"Oh great another creepy person."

"That hurt my feelings, I might not take you there." Gin replied.

"Fine, I'm taking panda with me though."

* * *

Meanwhile with Naruto and Company

"Why is it Naruto and company?" Sakura asks.

"Because the Manga and Anime are named Naruto." A voice answered.

"Oh."

"Then shouldn't it be dickless and company?" Sai asked.

"Nope." the voice answered.

"Who keeps answering and it doesn't sound like anyone in our group." Kiba remarked.

"It sounds oddly like Candice's friend, um that one girl." Kakashi remarked.

"Hey!" The voice.

"They forgot you're name." Sasuke's voice taunted.

"Shut up gay!"

"Sasuke you're gay?" Sakura asked.

"Not GAY!"

"Ah, sure, sure." Sai responded.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Belly shirt."

"Say that to my face."

"Turn around and I will."

"Well at least my shirt isn't held up by some weird bow tie thing."

"He's right Sasuke, one pull and everything might fall down. Ideas." Linda said while smiling evilly.

"Oh look it's Sasuke!" Naruto said turning around.

"Dobe."

"Now don't say that to you're boyfriend." Linda remarked.

"He's not my boyfriend." Sasuke argued.

"So you admit you are gay?"

"Not gay."

"So you're saying Naruto is gay?"

"Naruto's gay? And he has a boyfriend?" Sakura asked.

"With who?" Sai asked.

"Neji?" Naruto asks not knowing the true meaning of boyfriend.

"You've been cheating on Sasuke, that's why he left with the pedophile."

"Huh?" Naruto asked confused while Kiba just laughed.

"Never mind Naruto, and I am not gay."

"I don't know what to believe anymore Sasuke." Sakura said.

"Why do you keep calling Sasuke gay, he's never been happy." Naruto asked obliviously.

"Want me to show you?" Sai asked.

"Why don't you call him gay?" Sasuke asked.

"Too easy."

"What are you talking about his smiles are always fake." Naruto still oblivious said.

"If you really want to know go ask Kakashi." Shino said.

"Come here my boy, let me enlighten you." Kakashi begins.

"Naruto just ignore them and come inside." Sasuke said.

"Don't go he might do things to you."

"Not gay." Sasuke said then Hinata fainted because she was thinking dirty things.

"Well then why did you only invite Naruto inside?"

"Ummm, because the Manga's called Naruto?"

"Weak. The Um is kind of suspicious."

"Fine all of you get in here."

"The fine is kind of suspicious."

"Just get in."

"The just is kind of suspicious."

"I give up."

"See I told you he was gay."

"NOT GAY!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the screening room thinggy

"The fine does seem suspicious." I remark as I watch Linda and their conversation.

"Please don't eat popcorn near the screens." Tousen chastised me.

"I was gonna share, but you guys don't like popcorn."

"Who says?" Tousen asks.

"Me."

"But you know sharing is caring."

"But I don't care. I'll give Wonderweiss some popcorn."

"Guh."

"What'd e say?" Gin asked.

"Oh you're still here." I remark.

"That's not very nice."

"I am only mean to psychopaths." I reply.

"So are you going to give him popcorn?" Tousen asked.

"Come here Wonderweiss, want some popcorn?" I ask after he takes a seat by my feet.

"Guh."

"Do you want some popcorn?" I ask using a baby voice and patting him on the head.

"Guh."

"I take that as a no."

"Guh." Wonderweiss says before he uses my knees as a pillow and falls asleep.

"I guess that 'guh' meant he was tired." I wonder out loud as all the males in the room but Tousen glare at Wonderweiss.

"He likes you."

"Apparently, and the rest of you why are you jealous of the little boy arrancar thing?"

"Because he gets to sleep with his head in you're lap." Itachi responded.

"You guys are really sad. Don't worry sad panda there's room on the other side of my lap for you. Just sit on the floor next to me, no Itachi not you."

Meanwhile with Ichigo and company even though they split up

They're fighting, separately.

* * *

Meanwhile in the room

"Where did Itachi go?"

"Don't know."

"Where did Sasuke and Gaara go?"

"Don't know."

"Whose Gaara?"

"Sad Panda."

"Oh the red head."

* * *

Meanwhile with Linda and them

"Why is it Linda now?" Naruto asks.

"Because I said so." my voice replied through the microphone I found in the screening room thingy.

"Who said that, god?"

"Yes and I sound oddly like Candice."

"So you noticed that too."

"Linda have you not had you're tea?"

"TEA?"

"Linda it's me."

"God I know it's you."

"It's Candice stupid." Sasuke said.

"Oh. Where's the tea?"

"Ask Aizen."

"You ask Aizen."

"I don't wanna."

"He didn't give me my unicorn, I'm still mad."

"Just come to the screening room."

"I don't know where it is."

"Just follow my voice."

"Uh it's everywhere."

"Fine then follow the floating hand."

"When did you get control over those?"

"I don't."

"How's that work."

"It doesn't."

"What a stupid conversation." Sasuke interrupted.

"Anyways, Naruto what took you so long?"

"Yeah we even left you a note."

"You mean that note was from you?"

"Do you know anyone else with random portals?" Linda asked.

"God?"

"I don't know I've never met god."

"I am god!" Aizen's voice replied.

"No you're not Aizen shut up." I replied.

"So how am I getting to the screening room?"

"I don't know."

"Thanks you help a lot."

"I try."

"Kiba find them."

"I don't have their scent."

"Hinata find them."

"She's still passed out." Shino remarked.

"Shino find them."

"I don't want to."

"Well somebody's going to have to find them."

"What kind of tracking team are you?"

"I can take you to them." Tousen said.

"How'd you get here."

"Candice sent me but didn't tell you."

"Revenge." I say over the speaker.

"I left a note."

"You left me with two creepy people that later turned into three creepy people."

"I left you panda."

"Like he would have gone with you."

"I would have stolen his teddy bear."

"Teddy?"

"No Gaara she doesn't have Teddy. Wait why am I speaking into the speaker?"

"Take you're hand off the button Candice."

"Fine."

* * *

I almost forgot to upload this story between uploading Zenpachi and the virus on my computer, don't forget the school work, I almost didn't upload. Plus it's uploaded later than usual because of virus...evil virus.

Linda and I got distracted the other day and started thinking about altered fairy tales with the Naruto and Bleach characters from this story. (Also Linda and I) I will have more information when we actually write them, or more likely when I write and Linda gives me ideas. It will probably be uploaded as a different story. I believe the first one we will be doing is Snow White with Me as Snow white and Vanity-man as the evil queen!

* * *

Preview from the next chapter:

_"I don't even want to know, just tell me this: is there one connected to my bathroom?" I ask._

_"No." Gin replies._

_"How do I know you don't lie?"_

_"Would I lie to ya?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I would never lie to ya."_

_"That's like saying Sasuke's not gay." Linda adds._


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Readers.

I do not own Bleach, Naruto, Sesame Street, Any songs that may be used, or basically almost anything found in here except for the non-existent plot and the OC characters. Yes that means I own you Linda BWAHAHAHA...

Warnings for the chapter: continuing to call people gay, Aizen singing, Ishigo(Ishida), and extremely biased point systems

* * *

Meanwhile with Ichigo and company still split up

Still fighting…some seem to be loosing…coughRukiacough…

"Hey Chad's loosing too." Rukia says.

"How do you know?" I say.

"It's in the script."

"You're the one who stole it?"

"No."

"Liar."

"The lord repels you." Linda says.

"Anyway, Chad is cooler than you so we are giving him the benefit of the doubt."

* * *

Meanwhile in the room

"Maybe we should find them?"

"Too troublesome."

"True."

Back with us all in the screening room

"I finally made it."

"You were only looking for five minutes."

"Walking with Sasuke with all that sexual frustration towards Naruto was kind of hard." Linda said.

"I'm not gay so I didn't have any."

"Would you rather us say Sai and just replace you with him." I say.

"I don't care."

"You've already been replaced in your own team." Linda says.

"Suigetsu and Juugo are my team now."

"Yeah and they are looking so hard for you right now." I reply.

"Real hard." Linda adds.

"So hard that they're loosing in poker." I say.

"How do you know?"

"Um we're in a screening room, get it screening." Linda says.

"By the way does this mean you've been watching us?" I ask.

"We all know where Aizen's been." Linda remarks.

"I don't even want to know, just tell me this is there one connected to my bathroom?" I say.

"No." Gin replies.

"How do I know you don't lie?"

"Would I lie to ya?"

"Yes."

"I would never lie to ya."

"That's like saying Sasuke's not gay." Linda adds.

"I'm not gay."

"I can't believe you're taking his side." Linda says.

"I'm not taking his side I'm just saying I'm not gay."

"So Tousen is there a camera in my bathroom?"

"No."

"Ok."

"So you believe him and not me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He's not a stalker."

"But he's blind."

"He brings up a good point."

"I guess we will have to do it the hard way. Linda look buttons."

"Buttons!" Linda says then pushes them all as we watch the screens looking for my bathroom, and room while we are at it.

"So Itachi did you see my bathroom or room on there?"

"Room yes bathroom no."

"Still creepy but I can deal with that."

* * *

Meanwhile with Aizen

"I have a feeling they are talking about me. Where is everybody? Lonely, I'm so lonely I have nobody…"

"Aizen, I'm right here." U-man reminded him.

"I thought you left."

"You ordered me to stay."

"When?"

"Awhile ago."

"Well you can go."

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know."

* * *

Meanwhile back with us

"I like the coat but couldn't they have prettier dresses?" Linda asked randomly.

"You're right." I agree. "At least it's not as revealing as some of the other dresses."

"True, I wonder why Aizen didn't give you one of those."

"Maybe because then everyone would see me in it?"

"Probably."

"Should we ask for a new uniform or just deal with it."

"Can we design our own?"

"I don't know."

"If you ask maybe he's let us."

"Do you want to?"

"I'm not the one that's asking."

"Ok Gin you stay here and watch the monitors to see when U-man and Ichigo's fight is."

"Okay." Gin replied.

"He's like an obedient dog." Linda says then Gin glares without opening his eyes then Linda says, "I was talking about Akamaru."

"Good Foxy." I say patting him on the head. "Come Panda."

"Guh."

"Wonderweiss can come too. Itachi will probably come no matter what I say."

"I can't believe you're leaving me with them?"

"You're not coming?"

"No that'll be too troublesome to walk."

"So you're letting me walk into the lions den accompanied by a panda, a weasel and a whatever he is."

"Yes. You have a whole army there, not the strongest army."

"I am strong." Itachi said activating his Mangnako Sharingan (eye thingy). Putting Linda into a world of his choosing, for some odd reason he chose Sesame Street.

"Oh look The Count."

"One Ah, ah, ah. Two Ah, ah, ah." Linda and the Count both said.

"What's the letter of the day L for Linda."

* * *

Meanwhile

"I wonder what she's seeing." Kakashi wondered.

"Itachi looks like he's in pain." Sakura notices.

"Poor Itachi." I say.

"Aren't you supposed to say poor sad panda." Panda says.

"That too." I reply.

"Isn't Linda supposed to be the one in pain." Naruto wondered.

"No, no. I was right the first time, he doesn't know the strange things Linda can pull off." I say eerily.

* * *

Back In the Illusion

"Elmo's world…LA LA LA LA." Linda and Elmo sang as Itachi looked for a pointy object to stab himself with. "Come on Itachi sing with us." Linda said as she skips towards Itachi.

"Kai!" Itachi said remembering he could dispel his illusion.

Back in the screening room

Itachi lays on the ground unconscious.

"I win! That's what you get for trapping me."

"Now who's going to come with me to visit Aizen?"

"I'll go." Kakashi offers.

"Fine, I guess."

"It's like you're going to see the wizard. With a Panda instead of a Tin Man and a Thing instead of Toto."

"What happened to the lion?"

"You're going to the lions den anyway."

"Oh ok. I gave up."

* * *

Meanwhile with Aizen

"I have a feeling something good is going to happen soon." Then Aizen got the urge to sing a song, while staring at a photo of me, which went like this: 'Lavender Blue dilly dilly Lavender Green When I am King Dilly Dilly you'll be my queen.'

"Hi Aizen." I say then notice that Aizen is staring at a picture, of me. "Where did you get that?"

"That's a secret."

"Stalker."

"Poor Candice saw it coming but never did anything about it." Linda said as she was in the screening room watching.

"I knew it. I knew something good was going to happen. That just shows you I am God."

"No you're not."

"Ok."

"Why was I here again, oh yeah the dresses. Aizen can me and Linda design our own dresses."

"If you keep them white."

"Do I have to have something blue, and borrowed, and new?"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"So is that all." Aizen said.

"Yup, bye-bye." I say as I snatch my picture from him before leaving.

"Wait!" Aizen said but I was already out the door. "Was that Wonderweiss following her?"

* * *

Back in the screening room

"He said okay."

"Can you draw?"

"Nope."

"Sai?"

"Must I?"

"Yes."

"Well get to it. Or else we'll keep Naruto with Sasuke and you will never have a chance."

"Nooo! Ok I'll do it."

"Is everybody on my team gay? Where have I gone wrong?" Kakashi asks.

"Poor Kakashi."

"I'm not gay." Sakura says.

"Yes but you will never get a boyfriend."

"Poor Kakashi."

* * *

Meanwhile in the room

"Are you sure we shouldn't find them?"

"Maybe they are fighting?" Baldy suggested.

"Why would they be fighting?" Suigetsu wondered.

"Wishful thinking." Baldy responded.

* * *

Meanwhile with U-man

"What to do…there's lots of noise coming from the screening room. I'll go there."

Back in the screening room

"What are you all doing here?" U-man said.

"What does it look like?" I ask.

"Like you're watching the screens."

"Thank you captain obvious."

"You're welcome."

"Aren't you supposed to be fighting Ichigo or something?"

"Am I?"

"I think so."

"If you insist."

"I'm going too."

"That means that I get to watch Renji and Ishigo." Linda announces.

"Then it's settled."

"Let's split up into groups all the creepy people go with Candice. And all the failures come with me, that means the gays and people who won't get boyfriends."

"Why do the creepy people have to come with me?"

"They're going to go with you anyways."

"Can't I go with just Panda?"

"No." Itachi answers.

"I forgot he was here." I say.

"Well he was knocked out." Gin answered.

"His fault." Linda said pointing to Itachi.

"Anyway, let's get moving," I announce.

"I want to watch a fight." Naruto announces randomly.

"U-man are you going to use the non-flash step thing?" I ask.

"The what?"

"The non-flash step thing. Whatever I'll take the sand anyway."

"The sand?"

"Sad Panda's sand."

"His sand?"

"Why do you think he has the thing on his back?"

"Accessory?"

"Nope. He can control sand, which is so much cooler than poofing into smoke like Itachi and Kakashi."

"But mine has that poof sound it goes poof." Kakashi reminded.

"Extra five points for you then."

"How many points does Gaara have since he is you're obvious favorite?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yes." All the creepy people answered together creepily.

"Well he has 562 points."

"How much do I have?" Kakashi asks.

"Right now five."

"What about me?" Itachi asks.

"Negative 62."

"How?"

"Because I say so."

"Aren't we supposed to be somewhere?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Let's go."

* * *

Meanwhile with Ishigo and Renji (I'm Ishida…)…with Ishigo and Renji (I'm here too)…fine with Ishigo Renji and Fat hollow guy and Skeleton dude…

"What is that?" Ishigo (I'm Ishida) said pointing towards a blue speck coming towards them in the sky (near the ceiling).

"I don't know." Renji answered when suddenly there were random poofs without the cool noise.

"Who are you?" Ishigo (I give up) asked.

"Naruto!"

"Then what's that?" Renji asked.

"A blue speck." Naruto answered oddly not helpful.

"Why would he know?" Ishigo (sigh) asked Renji looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Well he knew the other answer." Was Renji's reason.

"That was his name, I hope he knows it."

"It said so on my name tag." Naruto said as Sasuke lands with Linda on his back.

"Why do you have a name tag?" Linda asks.

"Why did I have to carry her?" Sasuke asks.

"Because you're my man-whore."

"Um aren't we fighting?" the pink haired guy with glasses (I have a name…no you don't) said.

"Oh yeah." Renji remarked as they start fighting again.

"Let's place bets. I bet that Mayuri will come right before Ishigo (I'm Ishida) and Renji (hah she gets my name right) almost gets killed."

"We don't eve know who we are betting on." Sasuke remarks.

"Isn't it obvious, the pink haired dude and those two."

"Who's Mayuri?"

"It's for me to know and you to find out after you place your bets."

"I bet on the same thing you did."

"No! You're supposed to bet on the other one."

"That would be stupid, you obviously know something we don't. What kind of idiot would bet against you?"Sasuke asked.

"I bet on the red-head." Naruto says.

"Yes. Anymore, anymore? Bets closed."

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"Where's Candice."_

_"With U-man."_

_"Why?"_

_"Apparently he's fighting Ichigo?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because Candice said so."_

_"Oh ok. That's a good reason."_


	7. Chapter 7

Valued readers, and Linda who reads this even though she was there when we wrote it, here it is yet another chapter of Another Random Day.

Disclaimer: As usual I own nothing, definitely not Naruto, Bleach, or Ouran Highschool Host Club...I do however own homework...joy

Warnings for this chapter: A Random Tangent, Point of View ADD, references to the fact that in the Japanese version of both shows the voice actor of Sasuke and Ishida are the same person, and inner hollows.

* * *

Meanwhile with Ichigo just Ichigo (and Nel)

"Why are they standing in that doorway like that?" Ichigo asked himself as he stepped into the room where on the other side U-man is waiting with Candice striking a pose with all the creepy people (including Shino) watching creepily.

"You took too long, I got bored."

"Why are you even here? In Aizen's uniform?"

"Well, for one I don't want to be stinky and two the coat is really cool and three because I can."

"But they're the bad people."

"Didn't you notice that the last time we met I was with the 'bad people' then too?"

"Well that's true."

"We're the protagonists and antagonists all at the same time. Don't worry though, I usually don't kill people."

"So why are you waiting here?"

"To watch your fight with U-man."

"Why would I fight him?"

"Um, U-man your line."

"I was the one that kidnapped Orihime."

"That is a good reason. Let's fight." Ichigo said then attacked U-man as I went over to the sidelines with popcorn.

"Would you like some, Nel? Wonderweiss? Panda?"

"I want popcorn." Kakasi whined.

"What kind of needy scare crow are you?"

"One that wants popcorn."

"Good point."

"I win!" Kakashi announced eating popcorn.

* * *

Meanwhile with Aizen

"All by myself…something…all by myself. Maybe I should learn the words before singing. Maybe I should stop talking to myself?"

"Maybe ya should." Gin announced walking into the room.

"Where's Candice."

"With U-man."

"Why?"

"Apparently he's fighting Ichigo?"

"Why?"

"Because Candice said so."

"Oh ok. That's a good reason."

* * *

Meanwhile with Orihime

Two hollow girls came and started to pick on her then Grimmjow came and saved her! Not! Grimmjow came and kidnapped her. And Orihime healed the two girls for no apparent reason and you know why they were there…they like Aizen and were jealous of Orihime…ew they like Aizen and are apparently stupid since they haven't bothered me yet. Anyway so Grimmjow kidnapped her. (our first long paragraph in a while)(so proud. Yay us.)

Meanwhile back with Ichigo

"This is taking too long…U-man just kill him already."

"Wait I thought you were rooting for me?" Ichigo asked.

"I'm sorry you're destined to loose."

"Did someone say destiny?" Neji asked stepping out of a portal.

"No I said destined but close enough. Wait how did you get a portal?"

"You left them."

"Oh yeah."

"Join the club." I say then think of this random tangent…

* * *

Random Tangent

I walked down a random hallway and came to these double doors that opened when I walked near them as a voice said "Welcome to the Fans of Candice Host club!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"It seemed better than the creepy stalker host club, or the creepy people host club."

"I suppose. You called yourselves creepy."

"it's true."

"At least you guys admit it now, if only Sasuke will admit being gay."

"Not Gay."

"Who said that? Sasuke isn't here."

"Continuing with our introduction, hey where are the flowers?"

"You forgot to order them."

"Oh."

"So what type do you like?"

"I don't know if I even want to go in."

"You have no choice."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"This is my tangent."

"Well it's our club."

"So doesn't mean I have to go in." I say as someone (who knows who) pushed me in.

"I'm Neji"

"And I'm Bya. And we are the trickster twin type." (Yes Bya is in my random tangent for no apparent reason.)

"You guys don't look that alike, there's a height and an age difference."

"Moving along. We have the Lolita types:"

"I'm Kakashi."

"Aren't you supposed to be short and adorable?"

"I'm Panda."

"Aw poor sad panda. He even has a teddy. I want him."

"We're not done introducing people yet."

"I don't see why we have to continue I want the Panda."

"No. back to introductions."

"I am Shino one of the Wild types."

"What's so wild about you?"

"Bugs."

"I'm Kenpachi the wild type." (Even though he isn't in the story until later)

"I'm not even going to ask."

"I'm Aizen the natural type."

"No you're not."

"I am Aizen."

"You're creepy but nothing about you is natural."

"Yes I am."

"Name one thing."

"…"

"Exactly."

"I'm Itachi the shadow king."

"How come this is the only one that makes complete sense?"

"I'm also the shadow king, Gin."

"Oh."

"Don't I make sense too?"

"Not so much."

"I am Grimmjow the prince type."

"Now I am really confused."

"I am U-man the prince type."

"Still confused. What kind of prince calls people trash?"

"Did I ever call you trash?"

"Good point. So why am I here again?"

"You need to choose a host."

"Panda."

"Other than him."

"Then why is he here?"

"For decoration."

"I'm sick of this tangent now…"

* * *

Back to reality that's not reality but back to what was actually happening in this story

"Fate…"

"Did I miss Neji's speech or should I go back into the tangent?"

"It's almost over. Plus Ichigo's dead now, U-man ignored Neji and killed him." Kakashi answered.

"U-man you killed him without me?"

"You were here."

"Not mentally."

"Next time I kill I will make sure you are paying attention then."

"Too late, I wanted to see this death specifically."

"Now what should I do?" U-man asked me.

"Why do you keep asking me? And taking my orders, don't you have orders from Aizen?"

"I guess I should check on that human girl."

"You do that."

* * *

Meanwhile with Grimmjow

"Are we there yet?" the bag he was holding asked.

"No."

Meanwhile with Candice

"Oh look it's Grimmjow." I announce.

"Really." Kakashi responded.

"Yes and he has a bag with him." I point out the obvious.

"Heal him." Grimmjow orders the bag, which turns out to be Orihime.

"Ok." Orihime responds since she wants to heal Ichigo anyway.

"Have you noticed that no one dies in this anime?" I wonder out loud.

"Lots of hollows die."

"They don't count they are already technically dead. Plus we don't see them die we just notice that they don't come back anymore. Which makes me wonder where they go? Speaking of what about the Vizards…wait why am I asking you?"

"I don't know."

"Orihime hurry up with the healing." Grimmjow said annoyed.

"Are you sure that you want to fight him, you might die."

"You think I will die?"

"I don't think, I know."

"How…"

"I read it. Anyway since I am here maybe I will stop your death."

"Like I need a weakling like you saving me."

"Can I poke you in the abs until Ichigo is better?"

"Yeah sure whatever, as long as you don't mess with my hollow hole."

"Aw, that's what I wanted to do."

"I figured."

* * *

Meanwhile with Ishigo

"I just noticed something, you're Sasuke. Where's my Hitsu?"

"You just noticed? What's so bad about me being Sasuke?"

"I'm mad at you."

"Why?"

"cough crushing Konoha cough."

"Huh?"

"Just know that you're an idiot. Pay attention to the reason why Itachi did it."

"To test his ability?"

"No, just pay attention, pay attention."

"Hn."

With (hah no meanwhile) Hitsu

"ah-choo!" Hitsu sneezed.

"Someone's talking about you."

* * *

Meanwhile with Grimmjow (why Grimmjow because he insisted) (he's scary when mad…)

"Oh look fighting." I comment.

"They've been fighting for a while now." Itachi noticed.

"Aren't you scared of Ichigo's hollow side?" Orihime asked.

"Why would I be, first of all I am not even scared of the Espada, secondly I have one too."

"You do?"

"Yes and I need to use it soon so that Grimmjow doesn't die. So if you're scared back away now." I say then take out a large pointy stick thingy (way cooler than Baldy's) which is apparently my sword that's not a sword but a pointy stick. "Bankai!" I say then Ichigo and Grimmjow get slammed into two separate walls then fall to the ground.

"We shouldn't fight anymore." Grimmjow suggested.

"Yeah let's be friends."

"Yay it worked! I can change people's minds about stuff! I'm amazing!" I say as I stand there with my pointed stick thingy trying to keep it up. "Man this is heavy."

"You can't even hold it up but you can stop their fight?" Orihime wonders.

"Apparently. So Grimmjow can I mess with you're hollow hole?"

"Sure."

"Hehehe. I win."

* * *

Meanwhile with Ishigo

"This is boring." Linda said during their fight. "You know I've been thinking this for a while, Sasuke say Quincy pride."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Quincy Pride."

"Ishida this is not the time to be talking about Quincy pride."

"I didn't say anything."

"Ishigo say Uchiha and Hn."

"Hn Uchiha."

"They do sound alike." Naruto notices.

"Right and they have the same blue hair, they can be twins. Except one is gay and the other one looks gay."

"I'm not gay." Sasuke immediately responded.

"How do you know I was talking about you? Unless you look and act gay. Oh look Mayuri, Yay I win. Let's go he's creepy."

"Aren't you going to stay to watch the fight?" Renji asked.

"Nope, see you, maybe. I got what I wanted five dollars. I should have bet twenty."

"Poor Gamma-chan." Naruto said opening up his frog wallet.

"Blue speck go!" Linda said jumping on Sasuke's back.

"Can't we teleport?"

"Not as fun. Mush!"

"Where?"

"To where Candice is."

"How do I know where she is?"

"Just follow you're nose, or the evil laugh. If that doesn't work use your Itachi radar to find him."

* * *

Meanwhile with Candice

"My hand goes through it. I will never get enough of messing with it." I say as I stick my hand through Grimmjow's hollow hole.

"What's that?" Orihime said pointing towards the sky where a blue speck is flying towards us.

"It's superman." I say simply.

"Wrong, it is I and the blue speck."

"Oh it's Linda. Hi Linda. Hi blue speck."

"Hi!" Linda said as Sasuke landed and got her off his back. "Again again, let's do it again." She said trying to jump back onto his back but failed and Sasuke got an anger sign on his head. "That's not fair he got an anger sign."

"Yeah, well we have portals." I say.

"True but the anger sign is way cooler because sometimes it twitches."

"True." I say then sadly sit down because I don't have one.

"Oh look it's Nn." Linda said pointing towards Nnoitera.

"Hi Nn."

"I will now kill Ichigo and Grimmjow."

"Why?"

"No Candice it's too long."

"Ok fine. I say no killing Grimmjow, he's my minion now."

"But I can kill Ichigo?"

"I won't stop you."

"Ok." Nn said then started to try to fight Ichigo but was stopped by older Nel.

"I never said you could kill him I just said that _I_ wouldn't stop you."

* * *

Meanwhile in the room

"How much longer are they going to take?"

"Maybe we should go look for them?"

"Yeah."

"Oh look Aizen."

"Why is he doing the Evil laugh?"

"Let's not go that way, it's too troublesome."

* * *

To those of you who are up to date with the Manga of Bleach, where are the Vizards? Did they get stuck in that doorway or something? Next time go through doorways one at a time, patience people patience.

* * *

I have decided to upload Bleach and Naruto Fairytale(s) so look for them soon. Soon being later today most likely. Since apparently I update things into bleach on Friday and things into Naruto on Saturday. These stories will be updated sporadically, basically whenever I have random free time and write one.

Chapter 1-3 is Snow White (sorry about short chapters but I am writing three stories) Where I am Snow White, Yumichiki/Vanity-man is the evil queen, Linda is a bunny, and Sasuke is in the wrong place at the wrong time. (Wait till you find out who the dwarfs are)

End Shameless advertisement. (Also go read Zenpachi)

* * *

Preview for next chapter:

_"Let's check the script. It says that Orihime will be kidnapped again." I say as Orihime is kidnapped again but to my shock so am I. "This isn't in the script." I say right before I am taken away._

_"We need to go after her, I want her to play with my hair." Bya remarked._

_"do we have to? It's such a long walk." Linda complained._

_"What kind of friend are you?" I ask even though I am not there._

_"One that will leave you behind."_


	8. Chapter 8

Just some shameless advertisement Snow White is now complete in the Bleach and Naruto fairytales.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Naruto, 'I will love you to death' by Kamelot, or skittles...well I did own some but then I ate them.

Warnings for this chapter: Kenpachi singing, flashbacks, creepy kidnapping, and unexplained powers

* * *

Meanwhile during the Nel/Nn fight

"Do you hear something?" I ask hearing something, obviously.

"Yeah." Linda remarks.

"It sounds like Kenpachi, singing. Weird."

"What is he saying?"

"It sounds like 'love you to death' by Kamelot. Creepy."

"It does."

"Really you have heard it before?"

"Nope." Linda answers simply.

* * *

Meanwhile with Kenpachi

"I will love you to death…" Kenpachi sang as he walked towards the two fighting hollows.

"Why are you singing Ken-chan?" Yachiro asked.

"I don't know."

"Oh look Candice." Kenpachi says as he goes over to us with a rose in his hand. Kenpachi then goes down on one knee and sings "I will love you to death." while handing me the rose.

"Please don't."

"It looks like he's proposing."

"Creepy."

"Poor Candice."

Then suddenly Kenpachi notices that there is a fight that he could be a part of and looks like he is trying to decide which to go to. He looks back and forth between me and the fight.

"Go fight, go fight, leave me alone." I say shooing him away with my hands.

"But…I am wooing you?"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Nope."

"Fail." Linda added.

* * *

Meanwhile with us (wait was this meanwhile necessary...nope)

"Oh look Kenpachi is fighting now because Nel failed." I remark.

"Failure." Linda says.

"Do you remember what happens next?"

"I wish we had the script again."

* * *

Meanwhile with Rukia (Who apparently only is faking death or something)

"What is this?" Byakuya asked calmly.

"It looks like a script." Someone answers...who? The faking death Rukia maybe?

"Hn."

* * *

Meanwhile with us

"I believe this is yours." Bya said appearing out of nowhere and offering me a script.

"How did you find us? How did you get here? And aren't you supposed to be saving Rukia or something?"

"I left Unohana with her."

"Oh U-girl is here."

"Too bad U-man is not here."

"So what about my other questions?"

"Hn."

"That reminds me, Itachi, Sasuke come over here with Bya."

"Hn." Sasuke said.

"Hn." Itachi said.

"Hn." I said.

"Hn." Bya said.

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

Five minutes later

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Okay I have no clue what you are saying."

"We win."

"What did you say?"

"Hn."

"What did the conversation mean?"

"We were plotting?"

"Plotting what?"

"Hn."

"Never mind."

"Oh look the battle is almost over or something."

"Let's check the script. It says that Orihime will be kidnapped again." I say as Orihime is kidnapped again but to my shock so am I. "This isn't in the script." I say right before I am taken away.

"We need to go after her, I want her to play with my hair." Bya remarked.

"Do we have to? It's such a long walk." Linda complained.

"What kind of friend are you?" I ask even though I am not there.

"One that will leave you behind."

"It's not like you have to walk anyway, just take the blue speck." I remind her still not there.

"Dang-it." Sasuke says.

"Poor sasuke."

"He stole my line again." I whine. "Plus Linda you are stuck with a large group of Creepy people if you don't save me."

"Quickly Sasuke let's go."

* * *

Meanwhile with the group that is no longer in the room

"Was that an arrancar carrying Candice?" Hitsu asked noticing things around him.

"Maybe." Suigetsu answers since he really wasn't paying attention so had no clue if it was me or not.

"Hey look outside, it's a blue speck." Jugo announced looking out the window (not my window).

"Why would I take the effort to look at a blue speck?" Shikamaru asked.

"It's coming really fast towards us." Jugo pointed out.

"Maybe it has something to do with the arrancar carrying Candice." Hitsugaya concluded.

"Oh look there's a large group of creepy people running towards here." Suigetsu pointed out now looking outside also.

"That definitely has to do with Candice being here." Shikamaru muttered.

"Should we follow them too?" Jugo asked.

"Yeah." Hitsu said causing Shika to sigh and probably mutter something about troublesome.

* * *

Meanwhile with Candice

"Why am I here?" I ask Aizen.

"I need to go kill a bunch of people."

"And I care why?"

"I want to make sure you will still be here when I get back."

"I will, where else am I going to go?"

"Why don't you sit down?"

"That's a bit random but okay." I say as I sit on the throne and Gin comes up behind me and ties me to the chair. "I really should have seen that coming."

"Ya." Gin agreed.

"I will see you when I get back."Aizen said.

* * *

Meanwhile With the Blue Speck brigade

"Why is it taking so long?" Linda complained.

"We should have taken a left at the tree there." Sasuke pointed out.

"What tree there's a lot of trees." Linda pointed out.

"The one that had a sign that said throne room this way." Sasuke told her annoyed.

"Oh, Why is Naruto leading the way again? He is so slow." Linda wondered.

"Why are we even following him?" Itachi asked.

"I don't know." Sasuke answered.

"Oh let's ask this hollow." Linda suggested.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you know this person?" Linda asks drawing a picture that is just a stick figure with hair.

"Yes I do he's right behind you." The hollow answers so looks behind her and sees a hollow that looks like a stick figure with hair.

"Candice I thought you were kidnapped!" Linda exclaimed looking at the hollow.

"I'm not Candice."

"Oh, well you look just like the picture, you liar."

"Are you sure you drew her correctly?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh you're right I forgot something." Linda said adding glasses to the stick figure.

"I didn't mean that."

"It looks just like her, oh I get it." Linda commented as she drew and arrow pointing to the stick figure that says 'Candice'.

"I give up."

"Do any of you know this person?"

"Yes that's Candice."

"And where is she?"

"I don't know I've never met her but it says Candice."

"Poor Sasuke has to listen to this conversation." Linda remarked.

"Then maybe you should stop having it." Sasuke pointed out.

"Okay. Off we go Mr. blue speck, wait how are we going to find them then?"

"We could follow the moving arrow that says Candice this way."

"We could…"

"What else would we do?"

"Have tea?"

"Do you have tea?"

"No."

"Then obviously we are not able to have tea."

"Aizen has tea."

"And Candice."

"Let's go there then."

"Let's follow the signs."

"What signs?"

"The one that says throne room five miles."

"Why is it five miles that's long."

"It's not like you are walking anyway." Sasuke pointed out.

"Okay then, we'll go."

* * *

Meanwhile with Candice

"What's taking them so long. U-man is staring and I can't get away."

"It's ok I'm here too." Orihime remarked as she stood there doing nothing even though she is not even tied up.

"That makes me feel so much safer."

"Have no fear the blue speck is here." Linda says as she swings open the doors.

"Took you long enough."

"Sasuke's fault."

"Naruto was the one leading us."

"You were the one following him, we know he's slow."

"So could you untie me now." I plead with Linda as the creepy people notice me in the chair and surround me. "Not safe."

"But I'm so comfortable." Linda said as she laid down on Sasuke's back.

"I'm not. Itachi stay away."

"Well if you insist." Linda says getting down then unsheathing her sword. Then she said "Bankai, I say. Bankai!"

"Do you really need to add the I say?"

"Yes because it's cool."

"No really it isn't."

"You know I could just keep you in here."

"Fine, it's cool."

"That's what I thought." Linda said then waved her hand and said "Water slice." and I was free.

"Okay people back up. When did you get your powers?"

"On that one page."

"Which page?"

"The one where I got them."

"That's helpful."

"I'm a very helpful person, my sticker even says so."

"Hey wait. Why didn't you use those to help us to fight?" Renji's voice asked even thought he isn't there.

"Because I would have lost a bet. Money over lives, money over lives."

"My money!" Naruto whined.

"You know what this means?"

"Nope, no clue."

"It's almost flashback time."

* * *

Flashback time (we sang)

"I remember when I was a baby I used to poop a lot every day it was poop eat, poop eat."

"Linda not our flashbacks but the one's in Bleach." I inform her.

"I don't remember those."

"You didn't read them."

"Why are we talking in our flashbacks? What kind of flashback is this?"

"Well if we would stop talking maybe something would get a chance to happen."

"Worth a try. It's less troublesome then talking."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru said.

"Shikamaru what are you doing in this flashback?" I ask.

"What are you doing here?" Linda asks even though it is basically the same question as the one I asked.

"I'm not here…" Shikamaru tried to fool us.

"We can clearly see you and hear you." I pointed out.

"No you can't." Shika insisted.

"Yes we can."Linda agreed with me.

"Do you hear something?"

"Nope."

* * *

Flashback time (for real)(a voice sang flashback time)

"Oh look it's Sandal hat guy without the sandal hat and he's becoming the 12th division captain." I, as usual point out the obvious.

"And the Vizards are here too." Linda added.

"I wonder if it has anything to do with the plot?" I ponder.

"What plot?" Linda asks confused.

"The plot to bleach."

"I thought you were talking about the plot of this story for a minute."

"This story has no plot."

"Exactly."

"Can someone stop with this pointless conversation?" Said the mystery voice.

"What are you doing in this flashback?" I ask.

"Same thing you are, nothing." the mystery voice replied.

"Well can we speed it up?" Linda asks not looking forward to going through all the flashbacks.

"Nope." the voice answers.

"Why not?"

"Because it might have something to do with the plot." the voice points out.

"Oh that, we don't really care." Linda answers.

"How about this reason, because then you won't be able to write because you don't know what happens next."

"Stupid voice has a good point." I agreed.

"Who is this voice anyways?"

"I am the narrator." The voice insists.

"No you're not I am."I say.

"Fine. I'm Vanity man."

"You called yourself vanity man." I said laughing.

"It has a nice ring."

"See we told you." Linda chastized.

"Trust us with nick names, there is a small chance that you might get a cool one." I boast.

"If not, then we are just going to mock you anyway." Linda says factually.

"Okay back to the story." I announce because I am the true narrator.

"I now appoint you the 12th division captain." the General old guy said.

"He's my captain." Hiyori whined then threw her shoe at him.

"Wow that's gotta hurt and smell." Linda noted.

"I wonder why nobodies noticed us yet, we're pretty loud." I wonder.

"Especially vanity man." Linda says.

"We thought you were a figment of our imaginations." crazy guy with a weird smile aka Shinji the old fifth division captain now Vizard said.

"How would that be possible?"

"I don't know. We were hoping you would tell us." Sandal hat guy said.

"Well we don't know. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

"I am?"

"He is?" Hiyori asked.

"Maybe not."

* * *

Skipping to the conversation between Shinji and Urahara (because we can)

"…So just meddle in your own business." Shinji concludes.

"Jeez." Urahara responds even though Shinji is no longer listening or there.

"Candice did I just zone out through an entire conversation?"

"I don't know because I was zoning too, but apparently one of us convinced them that we are not threats somehow."

"Indeed who was it?" the sarcastic narrator said.

"Who was what?"

"I didn't say anything." I responded.

"Weird."

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"I don't know, but I think they match the decor?"_

_"What are you talking about we are the wall." Linda questions._

_"I am the chair." I inform them moving into a sitting position as if I was a chair._

_"Fine I am the lamp."_

_"Then I'm the couch." I insist._

_"Obviously you are not those things." Hiyori yelled._


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

Warnings for this chapter: still in flashback mode, little Gin, SN which equals Sarcastic Narrator, well little everyone, sarcastic red boxes

* * *

Meanwhile Back with Shinji

"How long do you plan on watching us from over there, Souske?" Shinji asked.

"He was over there the whole time?" I ask Linda for confirmation.

"You didn't notice the picture started having a red box around it and it blinked when he came near?"

"No…"

"Maybe I was imagining it."

"How could you imagine something like that?" Aizen asked.

"Little Aizen noticed you, Candice, Run he's as creepy as big Aizen is."

"I think big Aizen is creepier."

"I don't know those little eyes, and the innocent smile is kind of creepy."

"But big Aizen has the whoosh hair and an army…"

"But little Aizen's so little. I mean little kids are just evil and scary."

"Well I will agree that little gin is creepier than big Gin, but little Aizen?"

"Just imagine little Gin with a treasure box singing a lullaby."

"Creepy."

"Weren't you talking about me?" Aizen the attention whore said.

"Don't worry I will cover for you." Linda offered even though I was already running away. "She went that way." Linda said then pointed to where I went then Aizen chased after me, why I don't know.

"They completely forgot I was here didn't they." Shinji noticed.

"Don't worry you'll get used to it." Linda responds then runs after me.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Shinji asked no-one.

"Obviously a bad thing." The sarcastic narrator said. As a box pops up saying 'who's he talking to anyway?'

* * *

With Urahara and Hiyori the next day (if you're wondering we excapet-ted Aizen last night by hiding in Urahara's room don't ask why)

"What's this!" Hiyori asked pissed.

"A room." Urahara responds.

"Who gave you permission to change things?"

"That fact that it's my room?"

"Why are those two girls in here?"

"I don't know, but I think they match the decor?"

"What are you talking about we are the wall." Linda questions.

"I am the chair." I inform them moving into a sitting position as if I was a chair.

"Fine I am the lamp."

"Then I'm the couch." I insist.

"Obviously you are not those things." Hiyori yelled.

"How do you know maybe we are." I question her.

"Try turning me on, try turning me on…" Linda responded.

"What a dumbass…" the sarcastic narrator commented.

"Linda, think about what you just said."

"It's ok he's not that perverted."

"As long as no-one sits on me." I respond.

"I'm almost late," Urahara begins, "Hiyori do you want to accompany me to the Maggot's nest?"

"Ew, maggots."

"Don't do it, maggots are nasty." I say.

"There aren't any real maggots."

"Then why did you say it?"

"We're just going to see Mayuri."

"Don't do it!" I respond. "He's creepy."

"Poor Candice."

"I don't want to see little Mayuri."

"What if little Mayuri has a crush on you?"

"Little Aizen did."

"Poor Candice."

"You know Mayuri?" Urahara asked.

"No." Linda and I both said not so innocently.

"Somehow I don't believe you." Urahara stated.

"Who would."The sarcastic narrator (who will now be know as SN due to lazy-ness) said.

"Let's go."

"Screw that shit." Hiyori said.

"For dirty mouths use Orbits." Linda said in the commercial voice.

"I thought you were a lamp."

"I am the lamp."

"I am not going with them to see Mayuri." I announce.

"Who said we were going I don't want to go."

"Then let's not."

"We won't."

"Good, because they already left." I notice.

* * *

With Bya…little Bya

"Byakuya, the wuss, is training." The SN comments.

"Whose a wuss?" Bya asks me.

"I didn't say anything." I say.

"Who else would I be talking about?" The SN says.

"Then it was you." Bya said pointing towards Linda.

"For one it wasn't me, I do not sound like a guy."

"And I do?" I ask.

"Sometimes…"

"Just because I get sir-ed on the phone and in the drive through sometimes…"

"Really?"

"Once or twice."

"Poor Candice."

"Hello back to me." Byakuya said gaing our attention once more.

"What an attention whore." The SN comments.

"WHO SAID THAT?"

A red box appeared saying 'he's so mad he caps lock-ed'.

"The box is right." I said.

"You shouldn't let such little things bother you. You should be bothered if we were calling you a wuss, twig weakling with sweat…"

"It looks like if I sneezed you would be crushed by the force. I don't know how, but that's how weak you are."

"Who are you calling weak." Byakuya asked Linda and I angry.

A red box appears saying 'you'.

"What a sarcastic box, I like it."

"I want one. Speaking of things I want…Linda come closer, whispering time." I say then Linda came closer.

"What?" Linda asked whispering.

"We should steel his hair tie when he is distracted by cat-lady, girl?"

"Cat-women?"

"Where?"

"She's here."

"Candice and Linda start sneaking sneakily towards Byakuya." The SN commented.

"Why are they sneaking towards me?"

"Stupid narrator did you have to tell him."

"Yes, I am the narrator, what would I do if I did not narrate?"

"You could have used the red box."

"Aren't I the narrator?" I ask.

"Not anymore." the SN said.

"Fine."

"I still say you should have used the red box, now we have to do it the hard way."

"Whatever, Bya look it's cat-women…yoink." I say as I steal his hair tie.

"Run away!" then we look behind us and pause because Bya's hair is swaying in the wind.

"It is like an herbal essences commercial."

"Quickly take a picture."

"With what camera."

"Of all the things we have that's not one of them."

"I feel like messing with his hair now."

"No Candice resist the urge."

"Must touch…"

"NOOOOOO!"

"No I must touch."

"I have candy."

"Too powerful…"

"I have a picture of Panda."

"Wait how did you get that without a camera." I ask no longer walking towards Bya.

"We do not question these things."

"Ok."

"Old man helmet."

"That's random."

"I looked at that guy over there, then I forgot it was a different person, but still old."

"Give me back my hair tie." little Bya said while glaring.

"I knew we should have left when we had the chance." Linda said before she glared back at Bya causing a stream of lightning to form between the two of them.

"I am God," I say stepping between them then I shout, "Lightning!" and a stream of lightning appeared between them, causing Linda to stop glaring.

"I knew it you are God. Sasuke tried to lie to me."

"Why yes I am." I say sarcastically.

"I want a unicorn."

"I don't have one."

"What kind of God are you?"

"The selfish kind."

"Well selfishly give me a unicorn."

"How does that work?"

"We do not question these things."

"Well you are still not getting a unicorn."

"Awww, I knew Santa was a fake."

"What does Santa have to do with this."

"What does Santa not have to do with this."

"Huh?"

"Exactly."

"I don't want to be near you anymore." Byakuya said confused, poor confused Bya had to listen to our conversation.

'Then leave' a red box said.

"You got told by a red box." Linda pointed out.

Another red box came up saying 'you're one to talk'.

"Is he closer to us then he was? I thought he wanted to leave not come near." I noticed that Bya was closer not farther away.

"Aww, does someone have a crush?" Linda teased.

"No…" Bya said a bit too quickly.

"That no was suspicious." Linda continued teasing.

"I don't."

"That don't is suspicious."

"What isn't suspicious to you?"

"Nothing you say."

"Can I mess with his hair now?" I ask Linda.

The red box appears and says 'why ask her'.

"Because I care about her opinion, and he has no choice."

"I don't care." Linda responded, "Unless we are running away, then I care."

"Ok." I say then start to mess with his hair.

"Oddly enough he's not complaining." the SN noticed. (see Top author note thing)

"I knew that he had a crush. It's because his big self has a crush on the same person."

"Apparently it doesn't matter what age these people are."

"Not when it comes to liking you, stalking you and being creepy."

"Don't get too attached we need to leave soon."

"Ok." I said still playing with his hair as little Bya resumed glaring at Linda for mentioning me leaving.

"Don't think your little glare can scare me."

"Pathetic." The SN commented. (you can't remember we just cleared this up for you)

* * *

Meanwhile with Ukitake and Kaiden

The two of them were talking about Gin when Linda and I walked past them hearing their conversation. Linda and I paused listening a bit then we noticed a picture of Gin that has a red box that started to blink around it.

"I wonder what happens if I touch it." I wonder out loud then I touch the picture and we are transported to the area where Gin and Aizen are. "Dang-it."

"Both of them, too creepy."

"Way too creepy."

"Run away!"

"Wait they haven't noticed us yet."

"He was hopeless, Not worth talking about." Gin said.

"Is that right." Aizen said.

"Murderer." I say pointing to Gin.

"A clue."

"Linda that is not a clue but a murderer."

"A clue."

"Where's the detective?"

"A clue?"

"How are they not realizing that we're here, especially since someone keeps screaming 'a clue'."

"I knew it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the observatory."

"I thought it was Gin with hisZampakuto in the field with Aizen?" Gin asked suddenly right behind us.

"I thought it was Aizen…" Aizen began.

"Wait..." I mutter realizing that they are responding to our conversation.

"No no it was Gin." Aizen announced.

"I think they noticed us." Linda noticed.

"They are right behind me aren't they?" I ask.

"Of course."

"You know what that means."

"Run away!"

"And so they ran away. But will they make it." The SN commented. (Are you really that stupid to need so many reminders of one shortened name?)

"We made it!" Linda and I announce.

"It seems that they did." The SN announced. (Sigh)

"Thank you for pointing that out." I said sarcastically to the SN (Apparently she has given up-Linda), "I would have never noticed."

"Your welcome." the SN (Write it down people, write it down-Linda) responded.

* * *

When we were writing this and I shortened the name to SN I kept writing what it meant and then Linda reminded me that if they couldn't figure it out then they would be stupid.

* * *

Preview for next chapter:

_'Walking' said a red box._

_"They're not walking their striding, swiftly striding." I correct the red box._

_'Whose the narrator here?' The red box asked._

_"Well it used to be me." I answer back._

_"They noticed us." Linda commented._

_"Linda let's swiftly stride away."_


	10. Chapter 10

Oh noes we are running out of chapters that are already written. That means Linda and I will actually have to write again, but we are almost out of ideas...I'm sure that we'll think of something.

Yesterday I caught a lizard in my apartment and named him Lloyd and then set him free to live next to the tree. (I told this to Linda and she was like you rhymed and I was like I did? I didn't even notice...strange)

Warnings for this chapter:flashbacks, a random tangent, Itachi in a dress (because we can), and the sarcastic red box and narrator

* * *

Nine years later…(what we were there for nine years but there are creepy people-Candice) (at least it's over with now- Linda) (But we are still here- Candice) (True-Linda)

"Look it's Shinji and Hiyori." I notice.

"They're so violent."

"Oh no Aizen." I said pointing to Aizen.

"Run away!"

"Why do they always run away from me?" Aizen asked no one in particular.

"I wonder why…" The SN comments. (sigh-Linda also gives up)

* * *

Meanwhile with division 9

'Walking' said a red box.

"They're not walking their striding, swiftly striding." I correct the red box.

'Whose the narrator here?' The red box asked.

"Well it used to be me." I answer back.

"They noticed us." Linda commented.

"Linda let's swiftly stride away."

"It's ok it's only 69 number one, the guy that looks like Renji's dad, the guy that looks like Baldy's dad, and the guy…, and Tousen."

"Tousen! Run away, I mean quickly stride away."

'Then they ran away…' the red box said.

* * *

Later after 69 number one saves some little kids from a hollow they randomly show up again

"Oh look it's 69 number one and 69 number two."

"Huh?" asked young Shuhei.

"You'll know in the future 69 number two, 69 number one maybe not." I explained looking from Shuhei to Kensei.

"Do you know what 69 means, 69 number one?"Linda asked Kensei.

"Maybe." he answered laughing.

"Pervert." Linda shouts.

"Dirty." I remarked.

"Teaching little kids things like that, poor 69 number two has it on his face." Linda scolded.

"By the way 69 number one, can I poke the 69?" I asked.

"Why do you like poking stuff?" Linda asked me.

"Why do you like poking buttons?" I asked her.

"I don't know."

"Same reason, so?"

"I don't care." 69 number one answered.

"YAY!" I say poking the 69.

* * *

Later that night

"Old man helmet let us stay." Linda informed someone.

"Old man helmet?" 69 asked.

"Sorry I was thinking about the general."

"When did he give us permission to stay." I ask.

"I guess he didn't?"

"I don't know."

"What was that noise?" 69 number one asked.

"I wouldn't go out there if I were you." Linda warned them.

"They went anyway." I pointed out the obvious.

"Oh no, Tousen killed Renji's daddy, oh wait he's still alive." Linda said as she left the tent. "Oh Renji's daddy is dead."

"Poor Renji's daddy, he died twice."

"Oh he killed 69 number one."

"What happens if he kills us?"

"Nothing since we already have inner hollows, I hope."

"Nobody dies in this anime anyway."

"True, I mean 69 will be alive again."

"What about Renji's daddy?"

"I guess he's unimportant?"

"Poor him."

"I guess that some people do die."

"Poor people."

* * *

Meanwhile with old man helmet

"All the captains were gathered at an emergency meeting." the SN informed.

"This is an emergency." old man helmet said.

"Didn't I just say that." The SN remarked.

"Anyway I will send five people to investigate."

"Why five?"

"I just like that number."

"I want to go." Urahara said.

"No, anyone but you can go." old man helmet declaired.

"Why not me?"

"Because I said so."

"So three captains and the Kido corps are going?"

"Wait I want my lieutenant to go."

"Ok."

"Why do you want to send your lieutenant?"

"Because I can."

"I will go take a nap then." Tessai offered.

"So can she go?"

"I don't care as long as five people who are not Urahara go."

"Ok."

"So the five of you will go. End of meeting."

* * *

Back where Hiyori is getting beaten

"I am not getting beaten." Hiyori argued.

"That's not what it looks like to us." I respond from my seat on a large rock watching the fight.

"Why don't you help me."

"Too much work."

"Idiot why didn't you get away?" Shinji asked after he saved Hiyori by stopping in front of her. (Authors note we were going to end this sentence at stopping but we decided to finish the sentence, yay us.)

"Shinji."

"Riveting conversation they have, right Linda."

"Oh yes definitely deep and meaningful."

"Oh no Kensai is a hollow."

"Is he really a hollow?"

"No he's just faking it, of course he's a hollow." I remark.

"Idiots." Linda agreed.

"I'm bored of this fight let's bother Bya."

* * *

With Bya

Byakuya is mad because he was just Ma'am-ed by someone on the street.

"Hi Bya."

"Do you think I look like a girl?

"Hello little girl." Linda says. (When Linda saw the teenage Byakuya she thought he was a girl)

"Linda says yes to your question." I point out the obvious.

"That makes me feel better…not."

"Well if it makes you feel better, I get sir-ed sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Then we're fated."

"Don't say fate Neji might hear."

"Why is that a problem?"

"He will want me to play with his hair."

"But you play with my hair."

"Fate!"

"That's also why."

"Poor us."

"Poor Sad Panda."

"What's so sad about Panda?" Bya asks.

"He's not here!" I just notice.

"Come to think of it, I'm Hitsu-less."

"Wait that means no Itachi." I say looking sad.

A little red box comes up and says 'yay'.

"Poor Itachi, even the little red box is against him."

"Stupid Sasuke."

"Let me enlighten you to the joys of fate…"

"That means random tangent time."

* * *

Ultra Special Random Flashback Tangent (USRFT)(User-feet)

Flutes Basket...I mean Fruits Basket. What you need a basket? For all those flutes there are, there are many. Ok, back to the story now.

* * *

In Fruits Basket World

During the day of the festival of tree's replacement Tohru Honda, aka me, decided to invite all the Sohma's to the celebration. I accomplished this by calling them on the phone. Phone calls:

Yuki-Gaara: Why are you calling we live in the same house? ME: Are you going? Gaara: Yes.

Kyo-Kenpachi: Will there be fighting? ME: Yeah sure... Kenpachi: Then sure.

Shigure-Kakashi: Will there be high school girls? ME: I think so. Kakashi: Count me in.

Hatori-Bya: Is it necessary for me to go? ME: I don't think you really have a choice in the matter. Bya: You're right.

Haru-Aizen: I'll be there.

Akito-Grimmjow: Why would i associate with commoners? ME: Because it's fun? Akito: fun? ME: Because everyone will be there? Akito: Fine.

Momiji-Naruto: Festival YAY!

Ayame-Gin: Didn't have to call him Kakashi did it for me.

Ritsu-Itachi: Can i wear a pretty dress? ME: Yeah sure.

Hiro-Hitsu: Why would i go to some boring festival? ME: Do you have anything better to do. Hitsu: Shut up. ME: Kisa-Momo will be there. Hitsu: Fine.

* * *

On the day of the festival a tree was admiring herself.

"There's so many pretty tree's out here but i am the prettiest of them all. (insert weird laughter here)." Linda said.

"You are not a tree." Hiro Hitsu pointed out.

"I am the tree."

"No you're not."

"Go away shorty."

"Don't call me short."

"I only tell the truth."

"That wasn't the truth."

"You can't handle the truth."

* * *

At the same time at a different part of the festival I was playing a game of whack-a-weasel (hehe Itachi), while the creepy members of the Sohma's stared creepily. I was playing the game for the prize of a sad panda plushie. I so won.

"Are you done playing this game?" Asked Ritsu-Itachi looking a little sad (he can be out of character he's wearing a dress people).

"Yup, I got my panda." I say hugging it tightly.

"I'm going to watch the fights." Kyo-Kenpachi stated leaving the rest of the group.

"Stupid cat-captain." Yuki-Gaara stated as Kyo left to look for the non-existent fights.

"Are there fights?" Hatori-Bya asked.

"I don't think so, but for some odd reason he thinks there are. (I wonder why...looks above at the phone conversations)"

"Look over there! A person pretending to be a tree is pinching Hiro-Hitsu's cheeks!" Momiji-Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

"I am the tree." They heard the person wanting to be a tree say.

"No you're not you weirdo." Hiro-Hitsu shouted back.

"He looks like he's having fun." Shigure-Kakashi remarked turning away from the odd scene to stare at some high school girls.

"What are we going to do now?"

"Princess let's go partake of some of the festival food." Ayame-Gin said as he started to drag me towards the food booths causing all the others to follow."What do you want to eat first?"

"How about the beef? Poor Haru-Aizen."

"You can eat me if you want to." Black-Haru-Aizen said.

"Suddenly i want chicken."

"Make up your mind, women." Akito-Grimmjow said.

"Oh, I want that!" I announce handing the sad Panda to Yuki-Gaara, because i can, then i run to the stall. Hey i gotta be the first to get in that line...

"Poor Double Sad Pandas." The Linda not tree tree said.

"For god sakes women you are not a tree."

"My dreams are ruined. shattered! Broken! They went Kabloomy!"

* * *

Back to the main flash-backs in the story

...That is the reason fate is important."

"Wow that was longer then last time." Linda remarked.

"How did he get in here anyways?" I ask.

"It was fated." Neji answers.

"Then it is also fated that you leave this place-time whatever." I answered then Neji disappeared. "Wow that actually worked."

"Where were we in the flashbacks?"

"On this page duh."

* * *

Back to the story line

"Why is there a girl in a hollow mask flying through the air?" I ask.

"Does that mask kind of look like a bumblebee?" Linda asks.

"Again they are having such meaningful conversations." I comment.

"Everyone You Run Quickly."

"Thank you for noticing." I comment.

"Or is it just that you run slowly?" Linda ponders.

"I was running i thought i was sitting on a rock?"

"They're ignoring us again." Linda whined.

"Fine by me. As long as i am still sitting on this rock. If you destroy the rock i will destroy you. It's comfortable."

"Maybe they are ignoring us because they think i am a tree."

"Why would there be a tree on a rock?"

"Why not?"

"Never mind."

* * *

To where Urahara and Tessai are secretly meeting (shhh it's a secret)

"That's quite an interesting creation of yours, a cloak- Tessai started.

"A cloak!" Linda and I exclaim. "Oh my god a cloak!"

"That can completely block one's reiatsu." Tessai continued.

"Oh a special cloak."

"If it's blocking his reiatsu how can you tell he was there?"

"I can't let you go alone." Tessai remarks.

"They had that kind of relationship?"

"We should Ha Known."

"Let's hurry to where they await." Tessai said, man he is not letting Urahara speak is he?

"No let's go the opposite way."

"If they go to where they await there's no point in that cloak."

* * *

With the pervert captain hitting on little girls and no one can sleep...well that's basically it for him

* * *

We might go on Hiatas...after this chapter because...we have no ideas for the newer chapters because there is too much fighting...well we have some but they are silly and will be included.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"Oh look he's dead."_

_"Thank you captain obvious."_

_"Your welcome." i say giving Linda my version of the captain obvious salute. (upside down salute.) _

_"They are continuing with their deep and meaningful conversation."_

_"Oh no, Tosen is killing people now."_

_"Gasp. poor people."_


	11. The NotCloak Cloak

Haha, you probably thought I would never update this ever again…well you were almost right. I was randomly reading stuff on my computer because I have no life and was avoiding writing new things and I realized I have an entire chapter written and just sitting on my computer. How dare I not share it?

Warnings for this chapter: flashbacks, a Harry Potter reference, rocks, and many skipped explanations and scenes.

The Not-Cloak Cloak

Back to the fight with 69#1

Kaboom!

"Oh look Hiyori is turning into a hollow." I remark to Linda while we are once again sitting on a rock.

"Oh, ok."

"Oh look he's dead."

"Thank you captain obvious."

"Your welcome." I say giving Linda my version of the captain obvious salute. (upside down salute.)

"They are continuing with their deep and meaningful conversation."

"Oh no, Tosen is killing people now."

"Gasp. Poor people."

"Why did you betray your own captain?"

"He didn't betray anyone." someone said as some creepy music, and an oddly upbeat tune behind it, started to play.

"From what I see, he did betray people, what do you think Linda?"

"Traitor!"

"He's very faithful." Aizen continued.

"Faithfully a traitor." Linda comments.

"He just faithfully followed...my orders." Aizen continues still.

"Why must he make it so dramatic?" Linda asks.

"Why is he following your orders? Why not mine?" I wander.

"Don't ask such an obvious question it's because he's stupid." Linda remarks.

"You're only saying that because you know that they are ignoring our presence completely."

"We are, a very sneaky."

"I am the shadows."I announce.

"Unlike those Ninjas." Linda comments.

"No I am the shadows." Gin replied joining us on the rock.

"Aw. What a cute little Gin." Linda and I comment as we notice him on the rock near us.

"Very cute, but still a little creepy." I comment.

"You're only saying that because he is looking at you with his eyes closed." Linda points out.

"And? Do I need another reason."

"Maybe if you give him a lollipop he will leave you alone."

"Do you have a lollipop?" I ask Linda.

"No, not one I am willing to share."

"Then I can't try now can I?"

"You can pick up a rock and give it to him."

"Ya know I can hear you." Gin commented.

"No you can't, you lie. Liar. You know Santa doesn't come to little kids who lie." Linda informed him.

"There is no Santa." Gin said still with his creepy simile.

"I can't believe you. Now you are definitely on the naughty list."

"Just don't tell Aizen that I am here." I whisper to Gin conspiratorially.

"I already know." Aizen commented.

"Gin I told you not to tell. Now I am going to have to take away your sitting on our rock privileges."

"You are no longer cute." Linda says to Gin as he vacates the rock.

"You suspected, I should have expected as much."

"Of course I did."

"Yeah, of course he did." I comment to see if they could still hear my comments.

"Since when?" Aizen asks.

"Since you were in your mother's womb."

"Oh good comeback." I comment.

"I see." Aizen responds.

"I see." I repeat.

"See what?" Linda asks.

"What he sees."

"Which is?"

"How should I know?"

"Because you said you saw."

"I saw what I saw and he saw what he saw."

"What did you see?"

"A good comeback."

"Didn't you just hear that not see it?"

"I would have seen it if it was written."

"I see."

* * *

Skipping some boring conversation...basic gist is that Shinji picked Aizen to be in his division to watch him and his suspicion allowed Aizen to go undiscovered.

"You didn't realize, did you? That this whole month I wasn't the one walking behind you."

"How do you not notice that?" Linda asks.

"It was Voldemort! I see him, Voldemort." I say talking about the person who supposedly followed Shinji.

Then Aizen says that he used Absolute Hypnosis then complains about being lonely. He just wants attention. Attention-whore, Itachi you have some competition. Then he talks about choosing. He exercises his God complex a bit and says that he chose to be Shinji's lieutenant. My god he hasn't changed. Then Shinji started to turn into a hollow.

"Hollow transformation. What's that?"

"Well you see it's when you turn into a hollow." Shinji asked.

"You know the thing that you are going through right now."

"You have no need to know." Aizen responded.

"Too bad we told him."

"It wasn't that hard to figure out, it's kind of in the name people."

"Must you but into everything I say?" Aizen asks.

"Must you stare creepily at me?" I reply.

"Yes." Aizen responds.

"Then that's your answer."

"The betrayal you see is trivial what is truly fearsome is the betrayal that you do not see, Captain Hirako." Aizen continues.

"Would it still be considered betrayal? Is this like that if the tree falls in a forest thing?"

"I thought that to betray someone you had to already have their trust."

"If you never see the betrayal then I would think that it is not that bad."

"Does that mean it will never happen, like a bluff?"

"Goodbye you were all wonderful materials." Aizen finished.

"Damn it." All the nearly hollowfied shinigami said right before Urahara made his appearance in his cloak.

"Wait wasn't that supposed to be a cloak it looks more like a hat with a winter coat." I say.

"Maybe that's why his cloak didn't work because it is not actually a cloak."

"He's not cool enough to wear a cloak."

Skip some unimportant dialog, basic meaning is that Aizen has an interesting guest.

"Oops, they found us." Gin said cutely.

"Aw. Little Gin. Why can't he just stay like that?" Linda asks.

"Are you trying to say I am not cute when I grow up?" Gin asks.

"Not at all."

"The only good part is your silver hair."

"That's not nice." Gin responds.

"When were we nice?"

"When you called me cute."

"Live it up now, because in a hundred years you're not cute anymore."

"You are actually really creepy."

"I'll kill them." Tousen says.

"I thought he was against killing?" Linda wonders.

"Apparently not."

"What a liar."

"No, it's fine." Aizen replied.

"What's fine?" I ask.

"It's fine." Linda responds.

"What is?"

"I don't know."

"But..." Tousen began.

"Kaname, I said its fine." Aizen reiterated.

"Yes sir...! Please forgive my audacity." Tousen replied.

"Jeesh, over react much Aizen?" I ask.

"ki-kisuke. Why did you come, you fool?" Shinji asks.

"What's with that ugly mask?" Urahara replies.

"Good question." I say.

"It is an ugly mask. Even the bumblebee one is cooler. Even Ichio's, and Ichigo's is plain ugly." Linda comments.

"Is that all you can say?" Shinji asks.

"Apparently." I comment, "Since he is no longer saying anything."

"Lieutenant Aizen." Urahara began.

"Yes" Aizen replied.

"What are you doing here?" Urahara asks.

"Can't you see?" I ask.

"Even I know it was Aizen in the field with the hollowfication." Linda supplies.

Then Aizen says some long winded lie and Urahara knows he's not telling the truth. How, we don't know. Then Urahara reveals that he knows what hollowfication is.

"I see." Aizen began.

"What do you see?" Linda asks.

"I want to see." I say.

"You're just the sort of man I thought you were." Aizen said.

"What sort of man is that?" I wonder.

"Aw, Urahara you should be proud that he thinks of you as a man." Linda comments.

"I'm glad you came here tonight. Come Gin, Kaname." Aizen said.

"Why are you glad?" Linda said.

"Hey Urahara, he was glad you came." I comment.

"I wonder what relationship they had." Linda continued.

"Man Urahara is cheating on Tessai." I remark.

"shame." Linda says.

Then stuff happens and Aizen stops Tessai's attack and there is a big boom. Then something shatters. Then they transport everyone to division 12. Then Urahara and Tessai get arrested. Other stuff happened too but we don't care. And Cat lady saved them. THE END!

...of flashback mode, YAY!

* * *

Back to the main story line

"Why were the two of you just sitting there with blank looks on your faces?"

"I was in in flashback mode, I don't know about Linda she could have been zone-ing." in the background I hear 'flashback mode' "No we just got back."

"Hey where's my Hitsu?"

"I don't know let's find out."

Both of us appear then where Aizen and crew are as they try to kill people.

"Here we are."

"Hitsu!"

"Dang, she found me."

"You will never get away, never never (oddly low never)."

"Hey what are they looking at?" I ask. Then Linda and I turn around and see Aizen and people.

"What did Aizen get a perm?"

"It looks like he was hit by lightning on the way."

"When did he have time to get a perm?"

"How did he get hit by lightning?"

"You guys are having two different conversations." Hitsu noticed.

"Aw, I knew you missed us Hitsu." Linda comments.

"Didn't I tie you to a chair?" Aizen noticed.

"I got out." I responded.

"But I tied you really tightly."

"I have my ways."

"You're not going to tell me the ways are you."

"No because someone does not want me to tell you."

"Why were you tied to a chair?" Rukia's captain asked. (His name you ask...)

"It was horrible, there were these creepy people and they were surrounding me as _someone_ just watched. Not naming names." I say as I look at Linda.

"But why?"

"Ask Aizen, gosh." I rolled my eyes at them.

"I wanted her to be there when I got back." Aizen explained.

"Where would I have gone?"

"Well you're here now?"

"That's besides the point, and plus you're here too."

"I'm supposed to be here it's part of my plan."

"Maybe it's part of my plan to be here."

"What is this plan you talk about?"

"My ingenious plan."

"In other words she does not have a plan, I think." Linda whispered to Hitsu.

"Fine, then come here." Aizen commanded.

"Why would I do that?" I ask.

"Since when do we listen to you?" Linda wonders.

"Since that one page." Aizen made up.

"What one page?" I ask. (Brought to you by rock-paper-scissors)

"The page where you listened to me." Aizen said.

"There is no such page."

"Liar. God's going to strike you down."

"I am God."

"No you're not."

"Old man helmet is more of a god then you."

"Get on with it."

"With what?"

"What you were doing before we got here."

"You distracted Aizen." Linda sing-said.

"Distraction wins hypnosis sucks."

"Oh yeah I was completing my take over the world plan."

"We know your plan."

"But you don't know her plan."

'Because she doesn't have one.' a red box said.

"Hey I thought you were only in the flashback mode."

'I am always here' the red box said.

"Then why are you following us."

'I was bored' the red box answered.

"OMG he took off his helmet!"

"And he created a barrier around Aizen, Gin and Tousen. YAY! Free! No creepy Aizen wanting me as his queen." I cheer.

"What happens when the barrier dies down?"

"I run?"

"Ah, until then, have you noticed that we are floating on the air?"

"Not really, but now that you mention it."

"It kind-a feels like peter pan."

"We can fly, we can fly, we can fly!" We both said. Then we were transported back to U-man and them.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"You're unafraid because you're friends came for you? Are you serious?" U-man asked._

_"When did U-man get a sense of humor?"_

_"Yes." Orihime answered._

_"Can we just skip this and get on with the fighting, since we helped Ichigo get here early?"_

_"Whatever you say, my lady." U-man responded. _

_"My lady where did that come from?" I ask._

_"My lady, hehehe." Linda was amused._

_"Shut up you." U-man said._

_"You're lady will be very mad at you." Linda taunted._

_"For what?" I ask._

_"Work with me here." _

_"Are you going to fight or what? I want to see the death."_

_"We shall begin then." U-man replied._


End file.
